So he says..

I'm recently out of a Long Distance Relationship. We had been dating for a year, seven months and two weeks.

He lives in The Netherlands I live in the United States.

He broke up with me while I was visiting him in Holland. I was supposed to stay for 3 months but only ended up staying for 1 1/2. He told me that the last week of us dating he felt that he was falling out of love with me and that he was no longer getting butterflies when we kissed and such. Nothing had been going wrong though. When he told me that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore it honestly came out of left field since we hadn't been having problems or anything else.

After he broke up with me not a lot changed though. He still kissed me and hugged me and we still slept in the same bed at night. Though we were not having sex and we didn't publicly show our affection towards each other as much..everything felt..pretty much the same. He would still hold my hand when we went out and still give me kisses, it just wasn't as much as it used to be.

Well I was going to stay in Holland for the rest of my three months and just be friends with him. He said that after he broke up with me that he still loved me but that he thought that he made the right choice. One day he was supposed to get home at 3 and didn't actually get home till after 6 so I decided that I wasn't going to wait around for him so I went into town. He and his parents thought that I was upset and that I was going to run away or something. Yes I was upset but I just didn't feel like being in the house anymore.

After a long talk about how it would be unfair to me if I would have stayed I decided that I should come home.

When I was home and we talked he continued to say how he made the right choice and that he was sorry that he hurt me and such.

I was a mess though. I would cry all the time. The smallest thing would make me cry. I wasn't hungry..I was barely eating. I couldn't get to sleep sometimes..and just I felt terrible.

He said that he wanted to remain friends with me. That he hoped that we could remain friends because he still loved me and that he didn't want to completely lose me because (in his words) "You're an amazing person and I don't want to lose that just because we broke up."

Well I'm the type of person that gets over things faster if I'm alone. So I decided that we should have 5 days of no talking (considering we used to talk every single day this would be hard.) and then at the end of the 5 days we could see if its better for us to not be friends until both of us are over it, or if we should continue to be friends.

Before the 5 days he wouldn't really go on skype(Video to video, mic to mic) for that long. If we went on skype its because I asked him, not because he asked me.

Well during the 5 days I was really tempted to talk to him..in fact it was really hard not to talk to him..but I kept myself from doing it. The first two days were really hard but after that things got easier. I cried less, I hurt less and in general thought about him less.

Well the 5 days ended and I honestly thought it would be better to not talk to him until I got over him. But I still really wanted to talk to him because I still missed him as a person.

We started talking and I asked him if we could go on skype. He said sure..and before we actually got on he also told me "I want you to know that I've really missed you these past 5 days."

Well then we got onto skype and he told me that he wasn't sure if he made the right choice with breaking up with me. He also told me that he still loved me and that he wants to be with me but that he's not sure what his feelings want..he said that he hopes that he made the wrong choice in breaking up with me.

Well thats been going on for over a month. We still talk via msn and skype. Not nearly as much as we did when we were together..but still..its almost an everyday thing(skype). We do talk everyday though, unless he's hanging out with his friends or something.

He also continues to say I love you. I stopped saying it first..so now whenever its said he's the one saying it..and he does it whenever he leaves his computer or whenever I leave mine..or when we get off the phone. He also still says he misses me..that he misses holding me..kissing me..hugging me..etc.

We got each other promise rings..promising that we would be together forever...well he bought the one I wore and I bought the one he wore..when we broke up..we gave each other back the rings..he has the one i used to wear on a shelf with a picture of us kissing...and the few times that I've seen him pick either of them up he still cries about it.

He also still cries when he reads the letter that I left him in his room. (I wrote a letter and hid it in his room so he would find it after I had left holland)

Here is what the letter said:

Lars,
I don't know how you'll react when you find this..or even when you read it. But I want to do this one last letter. Something that I know one day you'll read. Maybe you're with someone now. If you are good luck with it. If you're not then I'm sorry. I love you. I love you as I write this and I'll love you when you read this. If you're still upset over the break-up please don't be. I know you didn't do it to hurt me and I know that it has hurt you as well. I love you Lars I love you with all my heart and all my soul. You are one of a kind and I will never forget you. Thank you for such a wonderful relationship. I hope that you get everything that you want in life and more. I was lucky to find you and I'm so glad that I did. I will hold onto every memory of you for as long as I can. It may hurt me sometimes..but remembering our love is worth it to me.

Please take care of yourself.

Yours Always,
Rochelle Lynne

11/13/07-6/30/09 The best part of my life.

I will never forget you...ever..

I will love you till the day I die.

*kisses* Goodbye my love <3

I've asked him to give me percents...of how sure he is that he made the right choice(in breaking up with me).

Yesterday it was 40%(meaning 60% sure he made the wrong choice.).

But I'm starting College next week..meaning less time for the computer and making new friends..and hanging out with those friends.

I'm no longer waiting around for him either. Yes I still hope that he says that he made the wrong choice..but I no longer dream about him..I no longer cry about him as much, I don't think about him as much..etc.

Well This week I have Band Camp. Which will be everyday from 8AM-10PM(08:00-22:00) meaning I'm going to have no time to talk to him for this entire week.

Well he knew that. I told him that we wouldn't get to talk at all and he was sad all day yesterday whenever we talked. He wished me luck, said he wished that we could talk, asked me to call him if I got the chance...pretty much everything that a boyfriend would ask of his girlfriend if they couldn't talk for a week...

I'm also going over there for Christmas. He said that he wants me to experience a dutch christmas and new years. He asked me to come over..instead of me asking if I could..so idk...

So my question is this..(first if you read all that I'm amazed hah.) Should I completely move on and actually just be his friend? Do you think that he is just confused and will come back? and if I do get a chance to get online this week, or call him this week, should I? or should I go the week without him?

Also if you have any advice feel free to give it. Thanks :)