I am a late bloomer, socially. I have never technically had a boyfriend and I lost my virginity when I was 25, but wish that I could get it back (without giving up my son!).
My love life didn't start until my twenties, due to feeling that guys were only interested in sex, so I subconsciously acted like I was tough and pushed men away. In my twenties it got worse. I moved to the big city, stopped going to Mass, and I was completely naive and fell into the art of friends-with-benefits. All with the hope that he would fall-in-love with me. Instead I ended up pregnant and single. My I live with my sister, and now my parents moved in with us!!!
Living with my parents is not a huge deal, after all my Mom cooks for the entire house, works the garden, and helps babysit my son when I'm at work. The bad part is that I can never invite a man over for a romantic dinner alone. I don't feel comfortable talking with a man inside a small house where everyone would be listening (my mom and sister). In a way I feel as though I am back in high school and not a woman on her own.
Other than all of that, I see other women and wonder why they have a man (and look worse than me...in my eyes). I have some great qualities, but I have found no man that is willing to accept them. I know that I have a confidence issue, which is only an issue if I don't know the man...I'm not normally comfortable with strangers, but I am slowly coming out of my shell. Which is why I have only meet men at work. Currently I am working on a man. He is recently divorce, but has trust issues with men. Common acquaintances think that I should not wait for him, and perhaps even give a little competition. But how do I stop from loving a man that I'm in love with? How do I pretend to see another man the way I see him?
Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!