Let's play a game of Marry-Bang-Kill (for those not familiar, we give you three choices and you have to decide who you would marry, who you would bang, and who you would kill): moneyed provider, semi-dangerous "bad boy" and funnyman. By my calculations, the comedian is not going to make it out of this one alive.
Chime in, please: Is it more important that he makes you laugh or makes bank? Either way, I'm working on my screenplay.
Photos via Bauer-Griffin