How Not To Deal With A Romantic Rival

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two girls having tea
Four terrible ways to tell the person pursuing your significant other to back off.

Over the weekend, Alex Von Furstenberg — the 38-year-old son of celebrity fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg, stepson of Fox Broadcasting creator Barry Diller, and ex-husband of millionaire socialite Alexandra Miller —  paid to have a plane fly over a California beach trailing a banner that read: "Reggie Miller Stop Pursuing Married Women."

The "Reggie Miller" referred to in the banner was none other than the former Indiana Pacers basketball star with the same name, while the "married woman" was, in fact, not a married woman at all, but Alex's 25-year-old fiancee, Ali Kay (whom Alex cheated on his former wife to be with). As for the "pursuing," that refers to the three-month textual relationship that Reggie had with Ali — a relationship which, Reggie's attorney tells the New York Post, was mutual (with Ali even sending provocative photos of herself to Reggie — one in bed and one in a swimsuit). Cheating How-To: Tips From A Mistress

 

Most people, we imagine, would cut their losses in Alex's situation, admit that karma exists, and find another 25 year old to carry on with. Most people would not draw attention to the fact that their girlfriends were cheating on them with a professional athlete. But not everyone is "most people," and in some cases, the not-mosts do truly nutty things in an attempt to tell a romantic rival to back off. Below, we've listed just a few of the tactics we've heard about over the years that are as irrational as Alex's. But be warned: these methods should not be applied in your own life (even if you're the heir to billions of dollars and have a very good lawyer).

1. The social networking method: Most of us can't afford to have a plane fly over a beach, dragging a banner behind it with incriminating words targeted at our enemy. But Facebook and Twitter are free. And some people are irrational enough to use them to badmouth others. This is a bad idea. Not only does it have the potential to backfire (social networking can cut both ways, after all), it also makes the people who participate in such online behavior come across as jerks and gossips. Facebook Manners And You

2. The bar fight: A guy looks across the room and sees that another guy is talking to his girl. Rather than assume the best of the situation (conversations happen in public places, what's the big deal?), he approaches the other guy, tells him to back off, and initiates a physical altercation. Guys, this is not sexy. And rather than prove that you really like your girl, it actually indicates that you don't trust her.

3. Breaking and entering: Certain movies seem to perpetuate the notion that girls really like to be stalked (remember Knox Overstreet's pursuit of Chris Noel in Dead Poet's Society?). But listen, breaking into someone's school or work place and publicly declaring your love so that everyone can see that you love the girl more than the other guy doesn't usually work in real life. In fact, it might very well result in a restraining order and arrest.