6 Reasons To Bail On A Threesome
Some kinky stuff is just not for every guy.
The semi-Sapphic ménage a trois is supposed to be ultimate male fantasy*. But all is not as dandy as candy in "2 chicks at the same time" land-y.
I'd first heard of the downright anti-American idea that a girl-on-guy-on-girl could be anything other than legen-wait for it-dary in an old issue of Maxim (Read: 9 Things I Learned About Women From Editing Maxim). In an article debunking sexual fantasies, a writer said the reality of a threeway was having to hear, "are you finished yet?" in stereo. "But what did he know," I thought, "he's just some nerd writer in New York who's probably a complete dork and doesn't know anything (wait for that to settle)." Read: Threesomes: A User's Guide
A recent Em & Lo reflection (EmAndLo.com) brought this near blasphemy back to mind. Em & Lo give advice to a young woman who is way into this sort of expression of her sexuality but is concerned that her guy is less than thrilled to share her (even with another lady) and then hear from the dude himself. Excellent read. Give it a twice-over.
Here are six reasons (beyond bi-furcated performance criticism and relationship insecurity) that a guy may turn down a threesome:
- Not an orgy guy. Have no intention of becoming an orgy guy. And think a threesome is a gateway to orgy guydom.
- The "one male and one female" policy was good enough for Noah, 'nuff said. (Except for Noah's family and possibly some "companions," if you buy into the Bahai explanation.)
- Waiting for a better offer. That's right two chicks, a beer helmet AND seven-layer dip.
- Pretty much luke-warm on new experiences, pleasure, the off-line world, onanism.
- You think your wife and the women you've been sleeping with may falsely imprison you, punch you in the face and superglue parts of you to other parts of you.
- Misunderstood the question.
I'm sure there are much better reasons to turn down a bit of threesome action, holler with 'em and keep it PG-13.
*As opposed to the Devil's Threeway, which is some guy's fantasy, something some guys indulge in to please a sexual dynamo of a wife or something that makes for a very awkward ride home in Y Tu Mama Tambien.
Discussion
OK Hummm let me think,
I know I can think of a good reason......
HUmmm Still thinking.....
OK how bout... Oh No that won't work..... wait a sec..
Still thinking.....
Still thinking.....
Still thinking.....
Still thinking.....
s**t damn !
Hell I don't know!
Ca'tn seem to finda vaid answer here....
Let see, free p***y with a beautiful woman......
He can take over while I rest
I can take over while he rests...
s**t Now that i think about it.
Their is no good damn reason,
Unless your shy of course
or no experince in 3-somes
Hey remember when you had no experince in masterbation?
How did you solve that one?
It's kinda like RockyRoad Ice cream,
If you haven't tried it, then you really can't honestly say you don't like it.
LMFAO~
You must be gay. No, I take that back, gay men know better.
To the point, your reasons:
Oh, no, I might become 'Orgy Guy.' Give me a break, you should have it so good. I've stood with five men in a circle while one women worked us all to orgasm. Ecstasy! (And a great view). Three-some fantasies pail by comparison.
Noah? Have you read the whole First Testament? Orgies are De Reguire. Read Robert Graves' Mythology. Nothing but orgies would placate the gods.
Waiting for a better offer? He that hesitates is lost (and hope that three builds to four, to five, to twenty). Sex if fun. More is even more fun.
If you are luke warm on new experiences like this, you are probably also limp.
And being taken 'prisoner' might be a kinky kick to the agenda, eh.
You did mis-understand the question, you tight ass.
JF
Sir Gallahad, not only did you miss the point of the post (he's not anti-threesome... he's merely coming up with reasons why one might be), but your arguments to the supposed contrary are nonsensical (any man not willing to engage in a threesome is not "limp") and ineffective (for starters: it's "pale" not "pail").
The other reason to turn down a threesome: (go to minute 7)
