Is Social Networking Screwing Up Our Lives?
Archbishop Vincent Nichols think Facebook might be degrading our interpersonal relationships.
If you're like us, being a few double-clicks away from all our cyberfriends is called "being awake." (Battery power withstanding) Facebook Decides To Control Your Love Life
Sure, we remember when AOL was just gaining momentum and we proudly flaunted our newly minted e-mail addresses. We remember rushing home to check the answering machine to see if our crush called and eagerly awaiting this newfangled thing called Instant Messaging. All to the serenading sound of dial-up, of course.
But now we don't even need to go out of our way to find out what our crush du jour is up to on Friday night. A few weekly pop-ins and we know what they wore to the beach, what they're reading and what kind of pizza they ate for lunch.
And it's not like we're being nosey. No, no. We're willingly told all these things. In a handy newsfeed headline manner, not too unlike reading about the president's latest economic plan. Facebook Courtship Advice
So how could this possibly drive society apart? How could social networking, as Archbishop Vincent Nichols recently said, corrode our "interpersonal communication" to the point where we are unable to live together and build a community? A bit much, no?
In fact, we're expressing outrage at the mere thought of it right now to all our 400 friends. We're sure they'll agree. Some will leave comments and maybe shoot us a message or two, and then write on our wall (if we're lucky).
Which is precisely the Archbishop's point—we've grown so accustomed to this wordy, webby closeness that the sound of someone's laugh, or the faces they make when telling stories takes a backseat. Or no seat at all.
Sometimes we never even meet each other, which he thinks spells nothing but a disconnected mass of people who underneath they're fancy iPhones and brand new Macs, and 700 followers/friends/whatever are really just, well, lonely.
"Too much exclusive use of electronic information dehumanizes what is a very, very important part of community life and living together," he said. "They throw themselves into a friendship or network of friendships, then it collapses and they're desolate. But friendship is not a commodity. Friendship is something that is hard work and enduring when it's right."
What? Accepting a friend request, tagging a photo and commenting on a status update thread isn't "hard work."
The archbishop's opinions make more sense once realized what they were in response to—a 15-year-old girl's suicide due to being bullied on some site called Bebo.com.
Discussion
I'm only just coming into adulthood myself, and the vast amount of people that I know are staggering; I know people from the UK, The US, Portugal, Saudi Arabia, New Zealand -- and all from my home in Australia!
The thing to remember about the Internet is that the people that you 'network' with (I hate that word) might not be who they say they are. It's all well and good to have a deep, meaningful conversation with someone over halfway across the world. That's fine. The important thing is to remember not to let it rule you. If you're one to take risks and meet people, then take a friend with you, meet in a public place. Don't go into something where you don't know what to expect.
Let's face it -- we're all putting on some kind of front on the Internet. I've defined four different personalities that I possess; the one that I am at home with my sister and mother, the person I am with my 'real-life' friends (I hate that term, too), the persona that I display at work, and the face that I wear when IMing my 'cyber-friends' (I don't hold much esteem for FaceBook or Bebo.com). I don't do it on purpose. I don't hide who I am online. If anything, I'm MORE myself on the Internet.
In fact, for people like me, internet networking is a Godsend. I don't feel comfortable expressing myself to the people in my 'physical' life; with the people in my 'cyber-circle', I let 'er rip. Not that I'm about to jump into a long-distance relationship with a guy that lives in France and go fly out to meet him. It just allows me to have friends that I wouldn't be able to even consider talking to in 'real life' due to various emotional and self-esteem issues that I've developed.
I realise that I'm probably waffling on here, but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it depends on who you are. For some people, yes, Internet networking can be detremental. For people who are shy or awkward, it's a place to anonymously (assuming you don't add everyone you know and chose a name that has nothing to do with out) express yourself. Yes, you will get comments that you don't like, and you may even be bullied. The thing with that is, unless they actually 'know' you 'in real life', then you should take what they say with a pinch of salt. That is what the 'delete' option is for. ;)
Actually, even if they DO know you 'in real life', who cares what they think?
I disagree. I think connections made over the internet are no more real/fake than the ones we make in real life. It's too easy to forget all the false self serving connections we have in our day-to-day interactions and judge the ones on the internet. It's easy because the internet is "new". Balance is good, but to be honest, my internet connections have led to me making more "real life" friends. I've gotten out and met more people because of meeting people from my blog or from forums.
People who live a life of fantasy would lead it with or without the internet to aid them. The internet is a tool, it doesn't change us it just reveals who we are. The very reason there are people out there on web sites with my title (community manger) means that people seek community and relationships wherever they go, internet or otherwise. And I have seen true bonds built and communities formed over the internet that would have not existed otherwise.
I don't think it's about internet-based connections being more or less "fake" than real life ones, but clearly, it's way easier to distort the truth online than in real life.
We all want to be seen from our most favorable angle and to detract people from spotting our weaknesses and shortcomings and that is something that visibly happens in a common manner with a tool like Facebook, which is basically about self-promotion.
There's also the fact that these social networking tools are "addictive" and it's safe to say that the hardcore users spend a lot more time and energy to it than to real life interactions. I'm one to think that it's somewhat sad.
Wheww...and here I thought I was never allowed to bellow out my battle cry of POKE WAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!! in my status update again!
Seriously though, I've had some minor twinges of concern over this idea of people spending more time with cyber friends than real friends, becoming all 'shroomy in the dark. Call me crazy, I just don't see as many rec centers for kids now as there were when I was a kid.
But it would be sweet, sweet fun to meet up with y'all for a coffee one evening!
I think social networking is great..for networking. For dating? it's giving people free reign to stalk and monitor the people they date. It removes all the mystery and getting to know you stuff that helps build true intimacy.
