How To Say "Kids, We're Getting Back Together"

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How to keep the children in mind when you're reconciling.

Date for several months (I recommend at least six months) before moving back in together. You want to be sure you have as much information as possible before making this important decision. When you first start "dating" again, do not tell your children you are doing so. There is no point in giving your children false hope until you are 90% certain that you will be taking the next step.

 

Talk to your couple's therapist about how to approach the topic with your children and how to make the move as seamless as possible. This will be one of the most important transitions in your child's life.

Expect your children to experience a myriad of emotions: happy, elated, confused, sad, angry, withdrawn, and fearful. It is only natural for your children to wonder if you will separate again. Be on the alert for nightmares or changes in your child's behavior. If you witness any signs of depression or an ongoing negative shift in their behavior, seek professional help. Consider child or family therapy.

Let your children's teachers know what is going on in the family so they are extra attuned to changes in your child's behavior.

Continue couples therapy after you have moved back in together. These first few months are critical to your relationship and will shape your future together as a couple and as a family.

By Dr. Dr. Cara Gardenswartz for momlogic.

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