so when he started getting DUI's he had to go to jail for a really long time. he has been locked up now for more then four months. he has paid more then his fair share of money that he owes as a "criminal". he almost got deported too. and he has been living here since he was seven, he was about twenty or twenty one when he went in. he went to school here, and he got a high school diploma. he used to always encourage me to stay in school and to keep trying. and when i did stupid things he would tell me that i was being an idiot and that i shouldn't be doing certain things. he was the only one keeping me inline when i was in high school. and he's been gone for so long and it feels like only maybe a few months ago i actually decided to get clean and pick myself up and stop failing at everything. he never gave up on me, even when he disappeared, he was usually in jail mostly for his truck and not really being a citizen. god how i feel so bad. i miss him more and more everyday and i can't not smile when i talk about him or when every once in while someone mentions him. he wants me to go see him in jail and he has wanted me to for a long time but i cant make it out there with my car in the condition that it is. and quite frankly i would rather drive an hour to go see him in jail then to go see my boyfriend who lives about an hour farther away from me. i really think that i might love this guy, my ex i mean. i don't really know alot about love, i have never been in love. i'm not sure, but i think about him everyday, and if not at least every so many days. i really miss him.
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