I have a perverse fantasy about Jon Gosselin. It all starts when Kate decides to go for joint custody. With all the benefits provided by the T.V. station, it should be easy to share child care. Kate will live with the kids half the week and then she'll move into whatever bachelor pad Jon has acquired and he'll live with the kids.
The first week Jon brings along his new girlfriend. She wakes up to the work involved in raising eight kids and runs screaming for the hills. Jon tries to keep up with his kids and fails miserably. The five year old calls him mean when he tells her to be quiet and go to bed already - this makes the tabloid headlines. He calls other girlfriends, but they have seen what's happening on T.V. and are not answering their phone. By the end of the third day, Jon is curled up in a fetal position while the children run amok.
Meanwhile, Kate has shown the T.V.-viewing world how disgustingly filthy Jon's place is. She brings in cleaners and goes off to a spa. After three whole days without kids, she is a sweet, soft-spoken angel once more.
Kate comes home and, kindly, sweetly, calls someone to take Jon away.