Choosing Battlestar Galactica Over A Boyfriend
By Maya Rock. Posted on .
I was shocked when his lips landed half on mine. I sprung back, giggled nervously and chanted, "Whoa, whoa."
"Whoa, whoa?" He imitated, that same damn grin on his face.
He started descending the steps. "Well, we'll do it again sometime?"
Never, I thought. I knew from my reaction to the kiss that a romantic future with Gerald was impossible. The fact that he thought it was the right time for a kiss convinced me not to pursue a friendship either.
I walked home, on the phone with a friend immediately, recounting the details of the mortifying experience. I could still feel the fishy texture of his lips against mine. This had been the closest I'd gotten to a kiss in over a year. I realized I was not regretting my previous kissless existence at all. I felt embarrassed for Gerald, that he had misread my feelings so entirely. And I was annoyed with myself for letting things progress so far, for showing up and sitting down, and again not finding it in my heart to open up.
The embarrassment truly bloomed a day and a half later when Gerald actually wrote me. His email was short and simple, asking how Battlestar Galactica had gone. I knew the right thing to do—not respond. I thought back briefly to my last gathering at Brianna's, the night before, when I'd munched on pita chips and we'd made fun of Gerald's missed kiss. Nights with my friends, in mutual admiration of the show we adored, these were the things that were filling that empty love life space in my head.
Battlestar Galactica has ended, and I'm still single. I haven't had any online dates since Gerald. I've checked my online profile twice in the last six months. I've come to feel that I have better luck living my life freely, meeting men in more natural environments then the controlled online dating circuit—at least for now.
I'm taking tips from Battlestar. Many of the characters, haunted by dreams, signs and symbols, wondered if there was any meaning to the strangeness in their lives. In the end, they couldn't solve it all, and, indeed the show's producers left many questions unanswered. But in the end, it's easier to let life flow and trust that those answers, like true love, will come when you need them.
