Still, I had trouble letting go. Every ending hurts because you
think the rest of your days will look like this, going in and out of
relationships like revolving doors. Maybe another love story, a real
connection, is no longer in the cards.
Unfortunately, the scared voice shrieking, ‘you’ll never find
someone,’ is louder than the one saying, ‘this dude is not the one we
want. Move on, doll.’ The not-so-scared voice is patient and centered
in what it wants. It keeps out ridiculous situations and recognizes
people worth bringing into your life. The scared voice fills in the
gaps of a deficient personality and weaves wonderful tales to convince
you this train wreck of an affair you’re in actually leads to
paradise. If we could just tell the scared voice to put a sock in it,
we could avoid these detours into romantic hell on our way to heaven.
I hope Joshua does get off his rump one day to give life to the
spectacular artist and man I know he has the potential to become. And
I hope I can silence my scaredy cat voice, so I can steer clear of him
until he does.