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all is not fair in love and war....

Heartbreak, Self

my first blog so i thought id fill you all in.... anger hurt and deceit fuel my writing. when im mad id rather cry my heart out into a txt box to a whole bunch f strangers then talk to someone i no..theyre just so biased. When i am angry or sad its mostly because of my rather well crazy boyfriend who feels he can do know wrong. This actually brings me to my first tpic to write about...How is it that when I do something wrong im apologizing and crying yet when he does something wrong im the one thats still crying in a corner. Anyone else sometimes feel that their bfs are completely heatless when it comes to your emotions. Peter my bf will do anything to keep him out of trouble. When he des something wrong he ALWAYS ends up turning it around to him being angry at me and him storming off to try and pack his shit and leave. Men really are such con artists and yet i cant see myself without him. i get sad when hes away and i cant ever let him leave in the middle of a fight because im afraid hell never come back again...hes convinced im obsessed but thats not the case  its actaully that every oher guy ive ever dated has chased after me to the point where i wanted to just scream get away but im the one chasing after him and it kills me because it takes so much energy...he supposedly started going out with me because he doesnt like being alone and younger girls get more attached when we started dating i was 15 and he was 20... i was an attention hog but i didnt get enough from him so i ended up playing games which has only caused me grielf ever since. im now 18 and hes 23 and all he does is complain about how he wishes i was older so we could do things or how because hes older then me gives him rights that im not "allowed" to have. so i told him u shud have thought about this before we got into this major relationship...which tech is right he knew whathe was getting into and about how he wanted kids at a young age cuz he doesnt wanna b ancient and not be able to play with them. meanwhile he cant even mention the word engadegment to his mom without her bursting into tears about him being so young. and also that hes not going to do that yet BUT what gets me even madder is 3 konths into his relationship with his exgirlfiend he proposed to her on the beach which is bullshit cuz hes never done anything romantic for me in the 3 yrs that weve been going out that i can recall and they only dated for 8 months and broke his nose twice...and she gets a fucking ring and i dont...well she doesnt have it anymore since his mom made him take it back and return it but thats besides the point...i do have a diamond promise ring tho which is better then nothing and his mom does love me which is a plus. one thing that does bother me about him tho is he tells me that im with him because hes my "ticket" (get through life easily) cuz his mom is a partner in a huge law firm his grandparents have a huge mansion and he has a union job that makes over a grand a year...all of this which bought my car my jewlery and all my coach bags but i try to explain to him its him i want not the money or anything...cuz when we fight he buys me things to make me stop it has its advantages but thats not what i want i just want an apology....i guess thats enough for one blog i dont want to put anyone to sleep lol....guess thats it untill next time...


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