7 Commandments For Showing Love In Public


This is a PSA on PDA.
  1. Genitalia shall not be directly touched. Glancing contact is barely OK, minimize repetition.
  2. Genitalia shall not be unfurled. That's indecent exposure (or mopery), brah, and could get you in jail.
  3. Any actual dirty talk shall not be said loud enough for anyone to hear unless it's in a language you're sure no one else can speak (Pig Latin doesn't count). 
  4. Tongue kissing, if even attempted, shall be incredibly brief and other people in the vicinity shall not be stared at by either kisser, that's creepy, man.
  5. Dry humping shall occur only on the dance floor, if at all. This dancing shall primarily be to Reggaeton (Daddy Yankee) or Crunk (the Ying Yang Twins) music.
  6. Breasts shall not be groped, see rule #1 for clarification.
  7. If one thing begins leading to another, involved parties shall attempt to egress immediately. Read: Guide To Getting Lucky In The Lavatory

While there are a few other guidelines (such as: only the lame shall put their hand in each other's back pockets), these are the basics that will prevent society from being torn apart. Feel free to ignore these rules in other cultures and on New Year's Eve. (Note: Romance language countries may be OK with it, countries with languages based on Sanskrit may be deeply offended.)

*Note: In India, The Richard Gere Treatment is public censure… what did you think I meant?

Holler with PDA rules, stories and general opinion.