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so close yet so far away

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i feel so lonely even when you are sitting next to me. i know i have hurt you in the past. for that i am truly sorry. but how can you hold in so much resentment? you seem to regret so much about us. I don't regret much and am learning not to wish only to do and to deal. all i want is for you to love me like you used to, love me as much as i love you. you say that you do, but you don't. you say i have held you back and held you down. I have done everything i can do for you. i don't know what to do besides keep loving you. the resentment sits under the surface like lava, I can feel its warmth flowing in a steady currant waiting for the smallest disturbance to let it out. not a trickle a flow, sometimes an eruption. the resentment is not all just me. you have been in far too many sh**tty circumstances in your life and i try not to add to them. maybe thats what hurts me so bad, I am adding to the hurt that you have experienced far to much of. I love you with all my heart, we hurt each other the most because we love each other the most. i dont want to hurt you and you dont want to hurt me. all i know is that as long as you hold on to all this pain and resentment you cant hold on to me. all i want is to hold you and you hold me back. I want the depth of love we had before life got in the way. i want us to be "us" again. please try and love me again like you used to. my heart breaks more and more every day, but i dont hold it against you, I just with you would let it go and hold on to me. sometimes i need to be told everything is going to be alright, sometimes i need your loving embrace. you say you want the physical relationship back, I do to. but I really just want you. I love you baby dont ever forget that.
R

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Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.
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