Off to the specialist today in Htfd

My husband, Patrick, has some pretty serious medical conditions. He's 42 years old, and he needs a heart, lung and liver transplant. He has Pulmonary Hypertension (a heart-lung issue); Portal Hypertension (a liver-spleen issue); Hepatitis C, Cirhosis and Hemochromotosis. These are all serious conditions, and we spend ALOT of time in the hospital. We are also at endless doctor appointments.

Today we see the liver specialist in Hartford, CT. Thursday we see the Pulmonary Hypertension specialist in Boston, MA.

The plan is that both of these surgeons, who do transplants, will communicate with one another and be able to do a three-way transplant. That's the PLAN.

My husband has travelled all over the world. He was in the Army. He's lived overseas. He's had cool jobs, like being a commercial fisherman (in Alaska and Massachusetts), and he's seen every cool thing and place you can imagine. Our Road Trip that we have planned is going to allow him to do and see the things he HASN'T done yet, and to give me to share with him the things he has seen. Kind of like a Bucket List.

When we first met, he told me he didn't want a full time GF or a relationship, because he was very ill, and he was basically living on borrowed time. I didn't much care, and I told him so. We decided to give it a whirl and I am so glad we did.

We've spent our fair share of time in the hospital. We've had 4 over night stays of 2 days or more. Our 2nd date was spent in the Emergency Room. He worries incessantly about me. How am I gonna handle it when he dies? Do I really want to put myself through this again? (I lost my mom two years ago to cancer, and she was ill for 18 months) He is terrified that I am going to go into Hermit mode; maybe I'll turn into the old cat lady or something.

Like I have tried to tell him.....I am happy that I chose to stick it out. We enjoy everyday so much more now that we know it's a borrowed day. We don't don't dwell on things that aren't important. We love each other completely and totally. We do the things we've always wanted to do. Most of all, we talk. When he does die, there won't be any "I wish I had told him ______" moments. I've said all the things I need to say and want to say. We never go to bed mad. We always say "I love you" when we part or get off the phone. We take ALOT of pictures and make shadow boxes full of memories.

Today we go to the specialist. He will go and listen and not put much stake in what the Doc says. I will hang on his every word, make sure the follow-ups were made, and come home and pray for hours at a time that the organs we need become available. We will handle things differently, but we will talk about our feelings and keep planning our trip. At this point, that's all we CAN do.

So, I have to get ready for another Doctor visit. You have to call that person in your life just to say I love you and I was thinking about you. Trust me, it's worth it.

Always,

Christa
(patswife)