The 5 'Golden Rules' Of Texting A Dude You're Super-Into

Photo: weheartit
Text Message Flirting For Beginners
Contributor
Love

Before you send unwarranted nudes, remember these tips.

These days, women need to be technologically savvy not only for work, but also for their love lives. In today's dating world, men aren't limiting themselves to calling us; we've come to expect a flirtatious text or two after a date. If you hit it off, you might even take it to the next level: sexting,

When flirting using technology, people are more aware of how they use words and symbols. For example, because a woman can't show her feminine side by flipping her hair or batting her eyelashes via text, she instead might use an extra exclamation point or emoticons.

So what's the advantage to flirting via text when you can talk on the phone or in person? For one thing, it's easy.

"Flirt texting is good for getting to know one another throughout the day because we don't have time and we're busy. It's also an easy, convenient way to connect," says Olivia Baniuszewicz, co-author of Flirtexting: How To Text Your Way To His Heart. Sending a text message is less of commitment than a phone call or an in-person meeting; it's a quick, simple way to show you're thinking about someone without much risk.

Flirty texts can and should also be used even when you're already in a relationship. Try sending your husband an "I love you" message or a simple "I'm thinking about you" text. To spice up your texting sessions, text him what you love him doing to you in bed or what you'd like him to try next time.

Here are five basic things to know before you send flirty texts.

1. How quickly you respond to a text message can indicate your level of interest.

At the office, responding to emails right away is impressive; in dating, a quick response to a text can seem desperate. Conversely, if you're not used to communicating via text message, you may not respond at all, but to a habitual texter no response might seem like a diss.

It's exciting when your love interest contacts you, "and that feeling makes you want to respond right away," Baniuszewicz says. But that might not be the best thing to do. "Just put the phone down for an hour, relax and you might think of something better to write in the meantime."

2. Subtleties can be hard to convey.

It's hard to judge someone's tone in a text message, so sarcasm easily can be mistaken for genuine feeling. Before you send a text make sure your words can't be misinterpreted. Emoticons can be helpful in this situation. If someone suggests brunch at your favorite spot, you might reply, "That sounds awful ;)". The wink makes it clear you're not being serious.

3. Avoid texting while intoxicated.

Texting under the influence, much like drunk dialing and drunken hookups, often seems like a good idea at the time  and regrettable the morning after. It can be hard to ignore the urge to drunk-text your crush dirty thoughts or fantasies of your future marriage, but trust us: it's best to put the phone away until you sober up.

4. Keep in mind that he may be a text message player.

Men are sending out mass text messages to all the women they want to date, and then picking and choosing amongst those who respond to them. The sooner you realize you aren't a special snowflake, the better.

5. Don't text another man when you're on a date.

Not only will it distract from your current date, but it's incredibly rude and poor texting etiquette. Make your other text buddy wait until you've composed a clever response after you've left the date.

Author
Contributor

Explore YourTango