Love is hard work. And it doesn't come easily, not even when you're in love. Peenu shares some much needed wisdom with us in response to "Key To Finding a Good Man? Self Respect". We think she deserves an internet slow clap. Take it away, Peenu!
In my younger years, (yes, younger years!), I had always allowed men to treat me poorly. Only because I had not yet understood the dynamics of a relationship. I allowed them to tell me what I wanted to hear, "play" me into giving them what they wanted, i.e. money, rides, time, food etc. Whatever my "whatever" was, they were getting it (though I was most inclined to not give 'it' up...).
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I think a lot of this has to do with upbringing. I lived in a very controlling environment. Both parents trying to control each other, both parents controlling both children. It was very hard to establish at a young age where the boundaries should have been drawn. Thankfully, at my ripe old age of 35, I have grown to understand what a real relationship looks like. You know, kinda sorta through addition and subtraction of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
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When it comes right down to it, love and relationships are not a game and NONE of them are ever the same. They are real; they are tangible; they are something that all of us are striving to find and are thriving to look forward to at any age.
It's innate, or human, for all of us to "need" someone. To "need someone to love", to be loved by someone. No matter how you look at it, no text book, no hard cover book, no Boarders coupon, no on-line article will ever give you what you are looking for. You have to find it for yourself... with your own patience and within your own time. Anything worth having takes time and patience, and understanding and perhaps a little growing up. Anything that comes too easily, beware.