How Often Do You Use "We"?
Some pronouns mean more than others.
My friend Leila came to visit from Arizona last Friday. We’ve known each other since freshman year at USC. I’ve seen her about 3 times per year, every year since graduation and still she—as well as everyone else from those days—says to me, "Your hair is so dark. Who’s doing your color these days?"
I said, "For the thousandth time, this is my natural color! This is what I really look like." I love that everyone from the west can’t seem to grasp that I would leave something natural. Maybe I was more of a follower back in college. (Here I am as a blonde.)
You know what else is funny about people you haven’t seen in a while? I was just talking to Suzanne, a friend I hadn’t heard from in months, and she busted out the "we." As in, "We’re great. He’s off to London tomorrow, so I’m trying to plan my weekend." I was like, "We? He?" It’s a little annoying when acquaintances bust out the "we" without first mentioning or naming the boyfriend. 15 Relationship Mistakes We Wish We'd Stop Making
I guess I’m supposed to remember my friend Suzanne is a "we" now. I doubt that men do this. (Maybe Ryan can shed some light.)
Do you use the "we" when you haven’t spoken to someone in a while? Is it habit? Do you think of your life in relation to someone else all the time? I can’t even remember what it’s like.
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Discussion
I don't use WE at all. I say you and I...the main reason is because it makes him feel that I am not talking to a collective. :)
I know I use "we" alot. I tend to feel really comfortable in a relationship early on (sometimes before its official). I enjoy who I am with and, in many ways, feel like she is an extension of my life and happiness just as I feel like I am an extension of her's.
I wonder if males and females "we" the same amount. Definitely more of a female trait to think externally about those closest to them rather than themselves first.
My sweetie says he uses "we" less (after I promised not to get mad). He thinks this is because most of the people he is talking to are at work so the context is professional.
I think some of it is also the differences in what we do. If a person asks me how I am, talking about my child being sick is actually an explanation. (I'm terrible, I've been cooped up in my house for three days.) Many of my "colleagues" are other moms, so talking about our families is business talk. (How much homework supervision is appropriate with a teenager?)
Some of it may also be gender differences - I talk about my personal life more than my husband does. His basic response to "how are you?" is "fine." Mine depends on who I'm talking to.
I confess, I use "we" quite a lot. In general when someone asks "how are you," I will mention thing about the family, not just me. The exception would be when someone doesn't know the rest of my family, but even then I might mention things about them that are affecting me.
I don't think I define myself in relation to others all the time, though.
