Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been on a date in awhile. I promise it’s not for lack of trying—I’ve been scouring Nerve in search of interesting dating profiles, with little luck. I try not to be judgmental—after all, I wasn’t getting many virtual winks until my wonderful readers helped me polish up my profile. But a lot of the women on Nerve are making very basic mistakes that instantly turn off most guys. Here are the four most common offenses:
1. Don’t pose for pictures. When checking out the photos on a dating profile, I always remind myself that I’m seeing the subject at her absolute best. And that’s OK—it only makes sense to put up your most flattering photos. But I hate it when women do that pouty, Blue Steel thing whenever someone pulls out a camera. A funny candid shot goes a lot further with me. (And if you’re really into honesty, try taking a shot from the windowseat angle.)
More from YourTango: 4 Modern Love Poems You Need To Know
2. Don’t complain about the last guy. Too many women (and maybe men?) use their profile to complain about former dates. For instance, there was a cute blonde girl who almost got a message from me until I read the following: “No vegans, uber-hipsters or pervs. No exceptions.” Uh, OK. I’m none of the above, but she sounds a little bitter, no? Facebook Manners And You
3. Don’t overshare. While I instantly skip profiles that only feature one photo and a few uninformative scraps of personal information, there’s something to be said for a little mystery. I’m talking to you, Ms. 915-Word-“About Me”-Section. A few choice lines from her unreal profile:
“I'm a yungian (sp) INFP personality type... an introvert with an exhibitionist and loquasious (sp) side.”
I LOOK MUCH BETTER IN PERSON, AND NORMALLY DRESS MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN IN THESE PHOTOs... I'm very busty (DD) and CURVACEOUS (back n'front...like jlo- but not puerto rican or short).
I have a collection of almost 200 books, many of which I have read, poured (sp) over, and highlighted.
And she even has a poem:
You'd look good in denim and a t-shirt,
and be some sort of perfect combination of blue collar and white collar.
You're someone who still knows what it means to be a man.
Maybe I could watch you work on cars in the summer,
while I sip on ice cold Pink lemonade by the window,
in a dress,
4) Don’t make your pet a focal point. I get it—you care very much for Mr. Snugglebuttons, and it’s important for your guy to also be an animal lover. Fair enough. But take it too far and I begin to wonder if you’re looking for a boyfriend or someone to clean the litter box. Animal Aphrodisiacs: Do Pets Help Us Date?
Fellow online daters, what are the most common mistakes you've come across? Would you ever include a poem on your profile? What are some online dating DOs?