What the Lifetime hit drama teaches us about love.
Love is a battlefield—perhaps even more so when your spouse is in the military. Milspouses have to deal with long-term separations, constant moves, not to mention the anxiety of possibly losing their loved one in the line of duty. Thus, when Lifetime created Army Wives (based on a book of the same name), the channel unearthed a treasure trove of built-in drama. The show, which follows the lives of five fictional couples dealing with military life, has earned the channel's largest viewing numbers ever and is brimming with love lessons that are applicable beyond the army base. Hoo-rah. How Couples Stay Married During Deployments
1. Never let your significant other hear about your infidelities from someone else.
In season three, Denise's affair with one of her patients became public knowledge and it led to her getting fired from her nursing job. Everyone knew about this before Frank, her husband who was on duty in Iraq. He had to hear it through a subordinate. Not only did Denise betray Frank once by cheating, she did it twice by making him the last to find out. To make matters worse, Frank is then sent home from deployment to deal with his "domestic troubles." Frank and Denise have been struck by some of the worst relationship woes in the show, generally because of his control issues, but this time it was all on Denise. 4 Types Of Infidelity & How Affairs Help Marriage
2. Compromise when it comes to careers.
Many of the main characters have had to deal with putting aside their own careers for the sake of the military spouse. Pamela was a cop before getting married to Chase, Roland was an esteemed psychiatrist, and Roxy's dream of starting her own bar are hindered by a her husband's meager pay. Roland seems to have let his sacrifices hit him the hardest, however. He has been stuck playing Mr. Mom while his wife pursues her military work, which leads to some "shoulda, coulda, wouldas" on his part. Though there's no doubting the admirable nature of making career sacrifices for your spouse, giving up on a long-sought career for love is almost guaranteed to bring some later form of regret. Career And Family: Can We Really Have Both?
3. Don't air your grievances to all who will listen.
Who can forget the season one finale when Marilyn's husband decides to go suicide bomber on everyone at the local bar after he finds out about her extramarital activities? Granted, the finish was about as over-the-top soap opera as you can get, but the shocking closing is a good lesson on keeping your cool during relationship problems. When battling it out with your significant other, don't drag in other people who aren't involved, especially any children, shared friends or random people at a bar. Soon enough, it won't only be you the two of you hurting. Cheater or Cheated, What's Worse?
4. Separation can indeed make the heart grow fonder.
There are plenty of "out of sight, out of mind" examples to pull from in Army Wives—I'm looking at you, Roland and Frank—but for the most part, the show celebrates the idyllic love shared between a solider and his spouse. Claudia Joy, Roxy and Pamela have all had their share of marital problems, but never to the point where they question the lifestyle they chose or their love for their husbands. Throughout the series, we see the men come and go on various deployments overseas. Every departure and reunion scene is a reminder that there are real women out there having to weather these separations. Put in that perspective, the little relationship irks don't seem so bad. How To Make Long-Distance Love Work