Porno Plots Losing Their Edge, Per The NY Times

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lame porn
The internet has made the porn industry cut back on frills like dialogue, story and acting.

Sweet Jesus, more dynamite from the New York Times. The paper of record laments the receding of plot in modern porn. While the action is as puerile and bone-tastic as ever (probably more so considering our increasing tolerance, and appetite, for the weird stuff*), the artistic sentiment is going the way of the dodo. 

Dialogue has gone from laughable to entirely absent. Drama has followed pubic hair out on the first train to Bolivian**. And the cinematic realism stops at the fact that it's just two (or more) real people who are really f*cking.

The advent of the interweb and the subsequent shortening of our collective attention span have made feature-length skin flicks a bit archaic, even kitschy… "OMG, Tony had a copy of Debbie Does Dallas, it was soooo cute!" Why mess around with all of that "I'm here to fix the cable" foreplay when you can be minutes away from the money shot? As a hookup culture, one thing we do not have patience for, generally speaking, is the money shot. And can you imagine ever trying to watch a full-length (heh) anything not on Hulu? The buffering alone would probably kill you.

Furthermore, amateurs and exhibitionists may make actual porn stars a relic before long (heh). Why pay money to see Jenna Jameson do stuff when some girl who's probably a 7 or 8 will more or less do it for free and more hilariously clumsily? Ironically, as porn makes more money, we may be seeing the end of porn stars. For instance, I saw a woman in incredibly high-heels strutting her stuff the other day with a shirt that stated "Porn Is For Lovers" (lampooning the Commonwealth of Virginia's slogan "Virginia Is For Lovers," which is nowhere near as hilarious as "West Virginia Is For Cousins"), her short-short jean shorts did not quite cover all of her hirsute lady business. Would a woman wearing a "Porn" emblazoned t-shirt have gone about so brazenly bushy three or four years ago? Are there even porn star role models left in this world?

Maybe all the role models are gone. Maybe Sasha Grey's switch to non-penetrative filmmaking was a Hail Mary to save her on-screen career. In a case of life imitating art (or history moving in cycles), the whole thing is a reminder of the fall of the porn empire built by The Colonel and Jack Horner in Boogie Nights. One minute you're making serious films featuring Brock Landers (Dirk Diggler) and Chest Rockwell (Reed Rothchild) fighting crime and sexing up the ladies, then the next minute you're luring some dingus into the back of a limo to make it with Roller Girl (and later kicking him in the face with skates).