This is one of the key promises of the Venus Butterfly: sheer physical stimulation drives you into a place where you can't resist climax. But surely to cede control to that extent you need trust and confidence in your partner. That was certainly the experience of Marnie, 32, a divorce lawyer.
"When we met, Brad was seriously into the Butterfly, wanted to try it our very first time in bed. But I felt overwhelmed—and I wasn't ready for anal so soon. So it took a while but now it's my favorite move." Brad adds "The thrill is taking her every way possible; for me it's the ultimate connection." Anal Sex For Beginners
More from YourTango: Sex Stories #120: 'The Night We Got Busy In A 50-Gallon Soup Pot'
And another of the Butterfly's key promises: to create as well as demonstrate emotional intimacy. But how? Step three in my quest had to be a personal road test.
I'll gloss over the giggles and murmurs of "you're supposed to put what where?". The man and I started with Venus Butterfly Classic: first and index fingers of both his hands in my vagina, his thumbs across my clitoris, his remaining fingers in my anus. It took him some time to get the hang of it—"like rubbing your tummy and patting your head at the same time"—but he liked the way his hands, opening and closing as he worked, looked like a butterfly. One climax later, I gave the maneuver an approving seven out of ten.
Then we tried the Oral Butterfly: fingers of his one hand in my front, fingers of his other hand behind, his tongue attending to my clitoris. He felt more comfortable because his fingers weren't struggling to accommodate each other, while I preferred the tongue work to the all-hands approach. Now that we'd mastered the rhythm, and I had learned to tilt my pelvis in response to his movements, we scored an eight.
More from YourTango: Sex Stories #119: 'The Night I Roofied Myself'
Then we got serious. He used the fingers of one hand in my vagina and anus, the other hand wielding a vibrator, alternating with his tongue, on my clitoris. He liked this best; I was too busy climaxing to know (or care). The score was a more-than-perfect 10 and we thereafter fell into each others' arms.