Key To Finding A Good Man? Self-Respect

By Karrine Steffans. Posted on Jul 13th 2009.

Video Vixen Karrine Steffans urges women to value themselves if they want to find Mr. Right.

The truth is, most men only do what they want to and you can never make them be or do something that makes no sense to them. The extended truth is that some women, based on how little they value themselves, are only good for having sex with. Some are just good for living with. Some are the kind you come close to marrying, but not quite. But when a man meets a woman who has it all together, both for himself and herself, then he can make a life-changing decision in what might seem like the blink of an eye. This is the one, he says to himself. No one else compares to her. If this makes him a dog, then it most certainly puts you in the category of one of his bitches if he has merely sexed you or consumed years of your life with cohabitation but no permanent commitment, and then moved on. Watch: Will Living Together Ruin Your Relationship?

There were plenty of men in my life who have treated me horribly, but they would have never had the chance to do so if I hadn't let them. Those same men who treated me poorly were kind and respectful to others, because that's what those others demanded of them. A man will treat you according to what he sees you'll allow. What you need to understand is that it is never too late or too early to change; even if you've been mistreated, you can still do something about it. Quiz: Do You Fall For Bad Boys?

Trust me, ladies, I understand that you're human and in need of affection and intimacy. But what I also understand is that in this sexually adventurous age, we spend most of our sexual life on people who do not truly love us. The act of loving is so much deeper than most of us realize or ever experience. It is not just an emotion but also a way of being. It is a decision, a vow. If you don't make a decision about the value you place on yourself and your emotions, you can and will probably be violated somehow. I'm not trying to make it sound like you're the reason for the bad behavior of the men in your life. That is certainly not true. Some people just aren't good people, no matter what you do or who you are. But if you pay attention and are thinking clearly, you'll be able to spot a person like this a mile away. If you are not so desperate, so lacking in self-confidence, empowerment, and worth, then you should be able to sift through the men who do not mean you well.