Learning To Love The Man, Not His Money


Learning To Love The Man, Not His Money

I understand the reasons GDs do what they do. It allows you to get what you want, to live at whatever standard you're going for without having to put in all the work. You feel like you can share in the rewards of someone else's life, and they seem to be sharing with you freely. Nothing is free. Some of my friends have been GDs. One would "miscarry" every few months, so her man was all over her with sympathy, buying things to make her "feel better". She messed up by nagging him about marriage. He was willing to give her money, but he would never bring her home to mom. Another one would find good-looking men and bleed them slowly to help pay for the car, tanning expenses, hair and nails, rent, clothes, bar tabs and whatever other bills she acquired. Then, she would move on to the next one. In fact, my own cousin spent much of her teens and twenties being paid for. Even when the cost was black eyes and bruises, she paid to get paid.

At this point, I've developed an aversion to money. I love money and all it stands for. I love (and miss) having cable, king crab legs, nice watches, real jewelry, and so on, but I have GIANT PRIDE SYNDROME (I am NOT a doctor) and I feel like it's ok to have these things if I buy them myself. Where does that leave my guy?


In an odd predicament I suppose. Since I lost my job, I'm reluctant to go out with him (not that he ever made me pay anyway). He puts forth the effort to do so much for me, but ever the GD idea was brought up to him I don't want him to even suspect that I want anything but his time. He mentioned going on a trip to Brazil and apparently was waiting for me to chime in about going. I mentioned that it sounded like he'd have fun and continued to eat my eggs. I can't afford that, and I wouldn't let him pay for me to go so I won't feel like I owe him. I can't enjoy things I haven't earned, and that's pretty bad news for our relationship because a lot of what he does involves money. Tales Of A Reluctant Trophy Wife

He speaks of getting married (but I don't). I have debt I'm paying down that I don't want him to incur. I have a child that requires vast amounts of milk, eggs, and strawberries. I More than that though, I still feel like I have nothing to bring to the table but love, and that doesn't pay the bills. I'm not sure what insanity has kept this man with me for a year, but I'm sure that means he is willing to give me much more than the money in his pocket.

Maybe, somewhere deep inside, other GDs feel this way. It's way easier to get the money than it is to build a serious relationship built on trust and love. It's faster, and you can usually expect everything that happens in the GD/SD (sugar-daddy) relationship. She will feed his ego with attention and sex and he will fill her empty life with nice things that she can't afford herself, eventually she finds a bigger fish or he sets his sights on something fresher and the game begins again with different players on the same field. I retired from this game, but I don't really know any other rules to play by.