Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Comment of the Day 07/06


Jenny Sanford seems to have set the gold standard for handling a cheating man. But while being tough on someone who's broken your heart and his vows, is a good front, finding peace and discovering where your boundaries are as the cheated-on is difficult and different for everyone. This past weekend, Mark Sanford made a much-publicized visit to his wife in an effort to reconcile. While the two were hashing it out over the holiday (why does family drama always ruin holidays?), user Prettyp shared this piece of wisdom with us...

I am dealing with this very same thing as we speak (read). I found out my b/f of 4 years was cheating. Truth be told, in hind sight, I think I can tell you exactly when he started cheating. I just never had any hard evidence like when it was confirmed. This is a very touchy topic because someone is deeply hurt by another's selfishness and greed. So immature to me. I am trying to work through this situation with my b/f but it is really hard because I have zero trust for him now and honestly, he's not really doing anything too different to try to help me rebuild my trust in him. I think each person who finds themselves in this situation should really do some soul searching and be honest and truthful with themselves. Ask yourself those very hard questions and give yourself the gift of an honest answer. If you have to, speak to yourself out loud, as though you were sitting there with you bff and <<>>> your answer to yourself. I feel like it's ok to get back into a relationship with someone who cheated on you, just don't give them your all until you know they have changed for the better and you feel good and comfortable being back together.

Where is your boundary? Would you take a cheater back? Have you taken a cheater back? What was that experience like?


Expert advice

If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
Several key behaviors stand out in order to help couples create a healthy relationship.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

Explore YourTango