As her sister edged toward her 40th year, Deidre Fishel noticed a panic slowly building and taking hold of her. She feared the dip in libido that comes along with age. Fishel wanted to see if there was real reason to fear, or if there were older women out there bucking the myth, that they were sexless, cranky old things.
She and Diana Holtzberg set to work creating a documentary and book called, "Still Doing It," that tells stories of older women who are enjoying fulfilling and adventurous love lives.
The two women looked for women in their 60s, 70s and even 80s willing to talk about their sexual lives at that point. The book is a touching collection of real-life women's attempts to meet companions later in life and to let go of previous inhibitions to enjoy love to the fullest. Some of the women tried matchmakers and other tried online dating services. It seemed at this later stage in life they had found a liberation that was not there at earlier points.Is Chivalry Dead? 5 Men Discuss
This is an uplifting, charming read that had us grinning from ear to ear on our train ride. It's just so darn uplifting. In one of the stories you meet an 86-year-old woman who still receives "private" daily visits from her lover, even though she is living in the nursing home.
"When you sat with the two of in the room, you knew," says Fishel. "There was a sexual energy between them. I would see them and they would hug each other. There was a kind of heat. You knew watching them sit next to each other they were not just friends. They were lovers with a physical connection. It was a palpable. When she talked about him she was almost gitty. It was relatively young relationship, just 6 years old."
Fishel says she feels bad for all these women freaking out at 35 or 40. "It's so sad. Working with these older women was astounding. It went against everything I thought. These women were having a full-blown love affairs," she says.
Women who will fare the best as they age, according to Fishel, are those who will be able to see that they are older but who won't think about that too much because they have more important things to do. Check out the "Still Doing It," documentary and book here.