Come on, fellas! You seriously believe this ridiculousness?
Les Parrott, Ph.D., author of "Crazy Good Sex" and founder of Les + Leslie, debunks some of these enduring myths (or, stereotypes?) men have about sex. Best of all — he offers ways for men to rekindle their relationships and sex lives, that being said, read on to clear up what you may have held near and dear to your heart, as the truth for far too long at this point.
1. A Happy Marriage Means You Won't Be Tempted
It's not the temptation that signals a problem, it's the giving into it. "Every guy faces temptations, no matter how healthy and strong his relationship with his wife is," says Parrott. A loving relationship can't protect against flirtatious co-workers or attractive acquaintances, but men do to control their urges. Parrott suggests that men (and women, too) keep pictures of their significant others and families in their offices, on their cell phones, or in their wallets, to remind themselves and others of their commitment.
2. Sex Starts When The Man Gets An Erection
On the contrary, good sex for a woman often begins long before her partner's full salute. "It's the gentle caresses and loving attitude that are essential to great sex for a woman," says Parrott. Satisfying sex for both partners begins with foreplay, whether it be fast and fun or drawn-out and sensual. But men who give their wives and girlfriends affection throughout the day, provide her with pleasure and act thoughtfully are more likely to get lucky at night.
3. The Best Sex Is Spontaneous
"The truth is that some of the best sex couples have and planned for," says Parrott. Though it may sound mundane, scheduled sex can feel like a boon for a busy, sex-starved couple waiting for that spur-of-the-moment escapade that never comes. The appointment doesn't necessarily have to fall on date night; it can simply be something to look forward to on an otherwise-average Tuesday evening, once the kids are all tucked in.
4. The Best Sex Occurs When The Man Takes The Lead
Sex is a team sport, not a one-man game. As such, it's most titillating when both partners are getting their needs met and fantasies realized. "Research shows that the best sex is often the result of the man letting his partner have a lot of influence over their love-making experience," says Parrott. Men: Encourage your partners to express themselves about their sexual wants and needs. Fulfilling another's desires can sometime be the secret to spectacular sex.
5. Good Sex Can Make Up For Bad Communication
Make-up sex loses its charm pretty quickly when it's the only sex you ever have. Communication — not a few sessions of steamy sex — is what a successful relationship is rooted in. "Communication meltdowns and tense conversations occur when people feel threatened, so both partners should work to make each other feel emotionally safe," says Parrott.
Bonus: A deep emotional connection greatly improves a sexual connection.
6. Men Want More Sex Than Women Do
Hordes of horny women beg to differ. It's not that women don't crave a good romp, it's just that the mechanics of getting turned-on are a little more complicated for women than those of a man. "When a man wants to have sex, it's the only thing on his mind. For a woman, the libido tends to be more easily distracted — say, by laundry — and is cyclical during the month," explains Parrott. For men to get more time in bed with their wives and girlfriends (or to just be generally considerate human beings), they should try simply separating whites from darks and loading the dishwasher. The payoff is well worth it.
7. Sex With The Same Person Gets Boring
Not if your make the effort to keep it interesting. "Research shows that people married for a long time have the most frequent and satisfying sex lives of anyone — even the swinging singles," reports Parrott. That's because committed couples trust one another enough to express their deepest desires. Moreover, the emotional connection established over years allows for erotic levels of intimacy. Since sex is often as much about trust as it is about chemistry, long-term relationships present the opportunity for a high-quality (and high-quantity) sex life.
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This article was originally published at AOL Health. Reprinted with permission from the author.