How to develop intimacy:
- Use our feelings for good - we need to identify our feelings and be able to express them. In addition, if your partner is able to express their feelings to you it's important not to judge them or criticize them. By accepting them you enter into a deeper understanding of each other.
- Self-awareness - Once you can understand your feelings, thoughts, needs, and behaviors you are much closer to being able to understand those of your partner. Being able to share these with your lover builds closeness. This awareness should help you be in tune with others needs and is the opposite of being self-absorbed. Becoming attuned to ourselves may show us that that there are changes that need to be made, which will help negative behaviors as well.
- Compassion and empathy - Showing empathy means being able to experience "walking in their shoes", not just being sympathetic to them. Your partner will feel like you really understand them and are there for them. You may need to work on learning and practicing true empathy. It calls for you to be genuine, really listen to your partner and not be judgmental. It really can be learned and you will be able to be compassionate when your partner needs it.
You may have to work hard at getting intimate with your partner. It takes practice. A willing heart and attitude goes a long way. If you are craving more closeness and connectedness in your relationship, it is worth working on it.
Maybe you feel like you are the only one trying? That you're just not getting through to your partner? Follow this link: Fear of intimacy to learn how to reconnect with your lover no matter how stubborn or distant they are and no matter how hopeless or difficult your situation seems.