Following a long line of notable affairs—A-Rod and Madonna, Eliot Spitzer and an escort, and Jon and Kate's various trysts—South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford recently revealed he's been having an affair with a woman in Argentina.
Of course, this is after Gov. Sanford (previously only noteworthy for refusing Pres. Obama's stimulus funds) disappeared and then reappeared, claiming to have gone hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Unfortunately for the family-friendly governor, his cover story happened to highlight Naked Hiking Day. Man, some people just can't catch a break. Read: Why I Cheated
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To add insult to injury, The State, Columbia-S.C.'s daily newspaper, got their hands on exclusive e-mails between the now-disgraced governor and his senorita from South America, Maria Belen Shapur, from almost a year ago. Of course, you can read all the boring, voyeuristic details about the love affair, or you can be like us... and read the article to glean love tips from the philandering duo. Read: The Other Woman: What A Mistress Knows
From Sanford and Shapur's e-mails we learn:
1. Always compliment your significant other. Sanford calls Maria "special, unique and fabulous," all things anyone wants to hear. And to boot, he tells her that she doesn't need therapy, which—we suspect—followed Senorita Maria fishing for a compliment about how loco she is. Either way, Sanford knows how to praise his woman.
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2. Pet names are important. Sanford takes to calling Maria "dearest," and she later ups the ante to "beloved," telling him, "I hope you change the dearest." No one wants to be called dude or girl, but certain pet names hold different meanings. Such as, babe—or even baby—sounds slightly demeaning while sweetie or muffin seems... well, overly sugary. And please, don't even get us started on "pooh bear."
3. Follow through on promises. Since these e-mails were from a year ago and Sanford was just discovered now, he was obviously doing something right. And, when he told Maria he was going to pick up the movie, Holiday, we're betting he actually did it. Now, whether it's the 1930's version of Holiday or the newer Cameron Diaz-Kate Winslet chick flick, The Holiday, we're not sure. However, the point remains: gifts make for a happy mistress.