10 Dating Mindsets Sabotaging Your Love Life

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dating advice
A new book helps you overcome potential dating pitfalls.

Ms. Rose-Colored Glasses: Ever the optimist, this dater refuses to see a monster even if she's sleeping in bed with it. She ignores red flags, friend's advice, even her own senses when it comes to detecting trouble. As a result, she is susceptible to being taken advantage of and cheated on.

How she might have got here: "You dated a man who became very angry and upset when you asked questions, and his reaction taught you to fear asking men for more information."Read: 12 Relationship Red Flags

Ms. Perfect: A woman who strives for perfection in every aspect of her life, right down to her man. Her standards are impossibly high and men get turned off by her judgmental attitude and meticulousness. She doesn't know how to relax, even on a date and comes off seeming cold.

How she might have got here: "Your parents had very high standards, and you felt pressure to be successful and a high achiever, otherwise you would be criticized or punished."

Do any of the types above resonate with you? Callahan's 244-page guide includes specific advice on how to overcome each "Ms. Type." The book concludes with "The Ms. Typed Makeover Kit," a section designed to help one sketch out a game plan for a happier and healthier dating outlook. A few general tips:

1. Create a support team of close friends who can be there for you during a transitional time.
2. Create a vision for your dream life; it will prevent you from settling.
3. List what's holding you back from that dream life and assume those things are false.
4. Gain closure by venting all your burdens out on paper. You can destroy the papers later.

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