10 Dating Mindsets Sabotaging Your Love Life

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A new book helps you overcome potential dating pitfalls.

Ms. Drama Queen: This woman loves a challenge, a competition and a dramatic fallout. She dates the wrong types of men because she gets a high out of the hard times. Ms. Drama Queen is one who doesn't mind going after a friend's man just to see if she can do it. Afterwards, she feels embarrassed for having been "that woman," however. Read: Diary Of A 23-Year-Old Mistress

How she might have got here: "Some of the young men you dated were quick to argue or get physical, and instead of turning you off, it turned you on."

Ms. Bag Lady: An emotional rollercoaster, Ms. Bag Lady hasn't sorted out her own personal issues before dumping it all on the new relationship. Her poor relationships in the past lead her to overreact to problems in the new one. She often feels depressed, unable to trust and unable to move on.

How she might have got here: "The men you've dated have been abusive or neglectful."

Ms. Mom: She takes over her man's goals as if they were her own, becoming his life coach, psychologist and mother all in one. She gives her all trying to improve him, but eventually neglects her own needs. Ms. Mom gets depleted emotionally and sometimes financially after her "project" has flown the coop. Answer: Is it alright to be possessive and controlling if we want it to be that way?

How she might have got here: "You were Ms. Mom around your house growing up, being told (or offering) to do things for men in your house (father, brothers, or another needy family member)."

Ms. Anaconda: A dater who inadvertently suffocates the men she's involved with. Paranoid that he will leave her, Ms. Anaconda holds on too tight by checking up on a man too much, manipulating him and keeping him away from his friends. When he leaves, it just confirms her suspicions and dooms the next relationship.

How she might have got here: "You trusted the men you dated to spend time apart from you, only to discover later that they were cheating on you."

Ms. Independent: After a particularly hurtful breakup, Ms. Independent builds an emotional fortress in order to prevent any more pain. Her now-cynical outlook causes her to miss the good qualities in men she dates. Even though she would like to start over, she can't seem to lower her guard enough to depend on anyone else but herself.

How she might have got here: "The men you dated were afraid to be intimate, and their defensive behavior made you feel you should keep your distance"