What went down at Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal's first 2 dating boot camps.
As some of you possibly know, I had the pleasure of being part of Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal's Dating Boot Camp (it was four weeks of tough, tough love). I was the guy that you didn't want to date (for myriad reasons). Just kidding, I was on a their panel of men (a man panel, if you will). It was our task to take questions from the ladies, ponder for three seconds and echo what Matt and Tamsen just said. Just kidding, we were there to give brutally honest and/ or hilarious answers to questions small and large.
As far as Matt and Tamsen go, they started from the beginning with the "enemy": men folk. Just kidding. No one's really anyone's enemy up in h're [sic], it's just that the behavior of the opposite sex is sometimes wholly incomprehensible to the point that we seem alien to each other (or something). The point was to educate women to the different kind of "players" on the field (player as in playa and field as in "love is a battlefield"). Many of these men are (wait for the shocking part) are just on the prowl for easy sex and are willing to move on to the next thing if there's no connection. Some of them (us) are just really sly about it (evidently, that's what some people call "nice guys" and other call "pansies").
For this reason, Matt and Tamsen embrace a 90-day rule. Per the policy, penetrative intercourse is to be abstained from for 90 days from the first date (the first date counts as day one). Outer-course is inbounds. The man panel (this week consisting of Adam Rich, Thrillist.com, Ted Scofield, SexySlang.com, Michael Somerville, MichaelSomerville.com, Max Gross, From Schlub To Stud, and some Tom Miller guy) groaned a bit at this one but was quickly whipped back into obedience by electrodes attached to our undercarriages. Just kidding, they attached the electrodes to our prostates (which roughly 10% of enjoyed). My new homey, LostPlum, sort of digs waiting. Though sexual compatibility ranks high on her list of important stuff, the first time with someone is supposed to be memorable. The best question from the audience was from a septuagenarian and she wondered how to get men 40 years her junior into committed relationships. Everyone is still a little uncomfortable from that one.
Week two was all about the look men love. Matt and Tamsen, both charming good-lookers, know that men are very interested in physical attraction (to get the ball rolling) and need that hook right off-the-bat. For this reason, they insist that women drop the frumpy and get with the plump-y. Just kidding, that doesn't mean anything. They just know that a man's eyes are connected to his groin and his groin has a secure line to his metaphorical heart.
Matt and Tamsen discuss what looks attract guys (an ample front porch, a high, round back porch and long tresses) and the clothing (open tops, high heels and… open tops) to accentuate those things. They polled the man panel (now comprised of Max Gross, Ky Henderson, Editor of Cosmo's Ask Him Anything, Adam Rich, Ted Scofield and this guy) about certain items of clothing. We dug the little black dress (LBD), did not care for flats, were agnostic about both denim and leather jackets (I like both, especially with designs on them, have fun!) and generally thought apple-bottom jeans were a solid bet (though being tight enough to see anatomy was frowned upon). Because of the subject matter, Lord & Taylor deposited the lot of us in their Little Black Dress department after the chat. Some coincidence.
The highlight question of the operation was how to get a man interested in you specifically if he's banging three other chicks on the side (not literally on the side). Matt thought by not sleeping with him. After we all chuckled at that one, no one had a satisfactory answer. In hindsight, a guy successfully juggling three or four broads probably thinks he has it made, but if you're incredibly interesting, wealthy and/ or talented he could become yours, I suppose provded you're also really attractive. Knowing some tricks that would make a Bangkok go-go-girl blush wouldn't hurt either.
Oh, along the way Matt And Tamsen nailed us with this fact: 60% of guys would cheat if they didn't think they'd be caught. Yeesh is right. My other new BF (we'll see if we can add the other "F"), Simone Grant (Sex-Lies-Dating.com), thinks this sounds specious. Check out what her readers have to say.
Next boot camp recap, how to get the guy and how to act on a date. Plus, check out Matt and Tamsen's book Why Hasn’t He Called?, the book from which much of dating boot camp is based.