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Learning About Love From Dad

dad's advice
Love, Self

This Father's Day think about all the love advice dad gave you.

This Father's Day it's nice to remember that dads are pretty important to learning the ropes when it comes to love and relationships, especially for boys. I'd say that if you compare dad's presence, when it comes to love stuff, with a NASA rocket that dad's presence, when it comes to love stuff, is way more important.

Dudes who grow up without a dad (or at least an active, positive male role model, like a Bernie Mac character) are at a serious disadvantage when it comes to romance. While some of 'em figure it out, lots are mama's boys, resentful of women or, weirdly, both (think Norman Bates but generally less violent or likely to cross-dress).

Dads who care, even really cool dads who let you drink beer, provide a grounding and safety. Per MSNBC, involved dads curb risky teen sex (unprotected sex, not necessarily anything pertaining to fire or chainsaws) at about twice the rate of involved moms. Maybe "involved dads" are intimidating to teen Don Julios [sic]. Maybe they reluctantly buy condoms or birth control because they know their kids are way past heavy petting with their boyfs / girlfs (they maybe even be rounding third and heading home as we speak).

While NO ONE enjoys discussing the nuts and bolts (double entendre!) of sex with any family member (save sage older, same-gender siblings), dads are sometimes a great source of advice on making night moves. Alec Baldwin's character in Outside Providence tells his moron son, "Making sex is like Chinese dinner, it ain't over 'til you both get your cookies." Wonderful. Em & Lo put together a fantastic list of accidental sex advice that people get from dad (God, do I agree with their sentiment about passing gas as mixed-company humor).

While my dad and I never had an actual "birds and bees, flowers and trees" talk, he did teach me a bit about relationships. Namely: women are crazy. I kid. His central theory was that women and men think about sex from nearly the opposite perspectives. In his estimation, women use sex to foster intimacy and men use intimacy to facilitate sex (his words, "men talk to women to get them to have sex with them, women have sex with men to get them to talk to them"). Sounds reasonable. Also, physical contact, even when innocuous, is a good move. Roger that, hoss. While he told me that chivalrous behavior was a good idea, he was also concerned with the "feminization" of America (I generally do not use "product," pops). Changing gender roles, in his estimation, were going to be a problem for male-female (possibly gays too) interaction and any past advice, wisdom or true-isms can probably be thrown out the window. I'd like to point out that he was a race car driver and watches Sex And The City and Ab-Fab with my mom; So he's legit and pretty familiar with modern women. Read: I Work For A Ladies' Magazine (I'm A Man)

And without dad's love, would it be nearly as funny to scream "I LOVE YOU, DAD!" after "Cat's In The Cradle Plays"?

Do me a solid and holler with any relationship advice you've gotten from your dad; good, bad or hilarious would be great.


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