It’s wedding season! I’m pumped to party. I feel mentally and financially prepared this year, in part because I’ve been saving my money for all the gifts, flights, and dresses. But last week, I was listening to a friend stress about going to a wedding alone, and I remembered, all too clearly, the days of the pre-wedding season funk. Is Your Fiancé A Groomzilla?
Sometimes, a single girl gets upset when she anticipates seeing all her married friends at a wedding. She starts to imagine the looks of pity, probing questions, having to explain herself, the onset of feelings of isolation, and people thinking she’s a freak. This can also happen pre-baby showers and high school reunions—any place where marriage or family (a family other than yours) is being celebrated or where you might see lots of couples.
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Symptoms start to appear the week or day before the event, but you don’t really connect them to the wedding. You just experience heightened sensitivity about your single status, sadness, self-pity, and/or irritability. You fantasize about freezing your eggs or adopting a baby from Malawi. You complain to your mom a lot, too. And then after she has listened to you whine, you tell her she doesn’t know what it’s like since she met Dad at a beach fraternity party in 1968 and hasn’t looked around since.
Here’s what to do:
- Acknowledge your feelings. It’s not wrong to be bummed.
- Pamper yourself or do something selfish. (After spending so much time and money on other people, you deserve it!) Get a mani-pedi or buy something that will make you feel hot and/or expensive.
- Try not to exhaust your mom's patience. She probably already goes above and beyond by reading your blog every day.
- Go on a date.
- Hold off on filing those adoption papers.
- Put on a smiley face for the event. This day is not about you.
Time and time again, I have found that I was only imagining that stuff about people pitying me. Friends have not been fixating on my single status, because no one thinks that much about other people and their problems. Who has the time? I was projecting. So there you have it! It’s all in your head.
Do you ever get weirdly cranky before a wedding or reunion? And then you’re like, Wait a minute! That was just PWSF! Do you have any weddings coming up?