I have been enjoying reading an undeniably biased book about marriage, "It's (Mostly) His Fault: for women who are fed up and the men who love them," by Robert Mark Alter. It is completely unfair to the guys, but it is so much fun to read.
In this book, (almost) everything is the guy's fault. He is the one who has to change to improve the marriage. It's like reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" turned inside-out.
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After so many books telling women to fix their marriage, it's nice to see a book that puts the responsibility on the guys' shoulders. Besides, if a woman follows "The Total Woman"'s advice to accept, appreciate, and adapt to her husband, her husband probably will respond well, and then their marriage will improve. Why can't it work in reverse?
A couple of sample quotes from "It's (Mostly) His Fault":
"Is your wife a nag? No. That's another big lie you tell yourself ... What, after all, is a nag but a misogynistic term for a woman who wants something from a man who's so disdainful and dismissive of her that he simply doesn't listen to her, so she's forced - forced - to repeat herself a trillion times to try to get through to him? ... When she tells you, do it, change it. And I promise you -- you'll never hear about it again."
"The point is to take complete responsibility for how that woman feels about herself. Not the kind of responsibility that says you caused her to feel that way (for the most part, you didn't) or the kind that says you can totally fix her (you can't), but the responsibility that says you can do a lot to help - which you can: Just do a lot of nice things for her and say a lot of nice things to her."
The book also gives a lot of good, concrete practical advice on how to treat women. How to talk with women, how to apologize, how to be gentle, how to understand female sexuality.
Now if only guys would want to read the book.
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