Does Casual Sex Screw Up Emotional Intimacy?
The experts are buzzing about the kids and their sloppy sex morals again. What does it all mean?
NPR.com published an article a few days ago titled, "Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships" and as the headline suggests, it's another one of these "think pieces" where we're all supposed to analyze whether or not stable, long-term, monogamous relationships are on the way out due to our degenerate bed-hopping. Sex Prevents ED
Those are our words and not theirs, but whenever we read one of these it's always the same thing: a.) kids are very into casual sex b.) nobody goes on traditional "dates" anymore c.) but what does it all mean?
In our opinion, a whole bunch of nothing. Sure, we may rack up more sexual partners than our parents, but people generally still want to fall in love and get married. Sure, it might be at an older age, but even the article admits that this has a lot to do with higher education and career aspirations. Not casual sex.
Their theory is that women and their newfounded sexual liberation might be stunting a man's capacity for intimacy. Ultimately, social researchers wonder if women morphing into sexual men turns us into a society of horny dudes.
It is, however, possible that the sex before love, love before sex might get reversed. Afterall, in some circles waiting too long to seal the deal is reason for dismissal—it takes all types, and everyone has their own unique idea of "the right time." Date Discussion DOs and DON’Ts
The most interesting thing culled from this article, however, was a rundown on how dating has evolved. Traditionally women would court suitors "under the watchful eye of a chaperon" at their place. Going out on traditional dinner dates first became popular with the poor at the turn of the century, when their homes were "not suitable for entertaining."
The article also pinpoints American sluttery originating in the 1960s and 70s when college dorms became co-ed. Sprinkle in alcohol, free love and 18-year-old hormones and viola—we as a culture haven't been the same since.
Discussion
Right Hooking up is part of growing-up and seeing what you like. I had a good time in college and several regular sex partners as well as one time things. Then came work and career and financial responsibility all which took time and energy. Then more education this time I worked 3 jobs 7 days a week and full load of classes not a lot of free time. All of these has reminded me to get while the getting is good and not look back.
Well...some families try to keep their traditions and try to raise their children the old fashioned way but it doesn't alway work out successfully. True that in this day and age you see much more casual sex than any other time...but parents have to understand it just because you raise your children with discipline and responsibility doesn't mean they will not have sex. In college I had 2 friends where both were raised in strict homes and their mothers would warn them since they were barely going through puberty about sex and how serious it is....one has had numerous sex partners and explored the world of sex, "rebelling" ....and the other was scarred for life and wouldn't let a guy touch her...go figure.....
As long as you parent your children effectively they should understand the consequences for their behavior. Teaching your child discipline and responsibility will go a long way for them in life. If you encounter any problem behavior, make sure that you address it firmly.
I think it's hilarious that NPR is still identifying "hooking up" as a trend, in 2009. And simultaneously giving credit to the '60s and '70s for inventing it. Which is it? Has it been like this our whole lives, or is it new and horrifying?
< a href="http://www.intotemptation.net/2009/06/13/hooking-up-making-out/">Hooking Up is Different … How?
I vote for ... same as it ever was. For those who long for some mythical "dating era" ... it didn't exist, boys and girls.