Self

So You're 28, Time To Get Married?

Today we stumbled upon a Huffington Post article about how being single and 28 can make you relationship itchy. Oh, excuse us. Single, 28 and a woman. Shucks. We always forget that men are given full liberty to run amuck, bank roll their way through the bar scene, date up (and young) for as long as their anatomy is still functioning.

Meanwhile, us ladies just corrode into babyheads and wedding ring harpies. Hugh Hefner Adds Another New Girlfriend

Like a fine wine those men.

Anyway, the writer says 28 was a "massive turning point" for her. That year she found herself single at weddings and bridal showers, and laments feeling lonely when she didn't have anyone to share a dance with.

"Some might call it a cab light turning on," she writes. "That was when I got serious about my mating and dating habits, a conscious decision that involved weeding out weak dating prospects, adjusting my outlook on life and getting out and about more often." Dating A Rich Guy: More Important Than You Think

She then goes on to mention certain pop cultural references that reinforce this 28 curse. Movies where the heroines get married at 28, scenes where the heroine's mother makes her feel like a musty, old maid for still being single at 28. That silly shell of a woman, Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger, who tells her little gold-diggers-in-training that going after old rich guys when you're over 30 is practically a lost cause. And so on and so forth.

Ideas like this make us tired. (And not because we're decrepit and 28. Wise ass.) Enough already with all this age obsession. Aging, while not only inevitable, is 100% individual. One shouldn't feel pressured into feeling childish just because they don't have the wedding itch two years shy of 30. How can one age be defined as a relationship "growing up" point?

Not to mention, nothing sounds more desperate and disastrous than a slew of 28-year-olds, as she says, "[taking part in] an informal Race To The Altar" just because they've had to suffer through a few of their friend's ceremonies. That's no way to net 'em, ladies.

Personally, we'd rather coat our faces in anti-wrinkle cream and bask in the old Taoist saying "The more you try to control, the less effective you become."

(Besides, settled down at 28? We were just getting started!)