It’s a hazard of this open marriage lifestyle, but living in the seemingly big, but actually relatively small city of Toronto and having dated quite a number of boys and girls over the past few years I am bound to run into someone sooner or later.
I’ve had some random run-ins over the past few years. Luckily, I stay friends with most of the people I date, but there have been a few that I would really prefer to never see again and I’m sure they probably think the same of me. Here’s a few thoughts on these collisions for you.
The idea of running into an ex from last year, after his weird "I can’t man up and stay friends with you” email sometimes spooks me. We live relatively close to one another (one of the appealing factors when we first met), so I’m sure it will happen someday.
How does that work? What do you say when you run into someone from your past and you can’t avoid each other? Do you avoid each other anyway, doing the duck and cover? Or do you do the awkard “Oh hi … um er … how are you? ” or the even more awkward “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you act like such an ass?”
Last fall going to work on the streetcar with my husband, my ex from ‘07 – the sous chef - hopped on board. I froze up immediately hoping I looked fantastic, wanting him to both see and not see me. I don’t know if he saw us or not when he walked by, but it left me feeling anxious the entire rest of the ride. Now everyday when I pass that stop on the way to work I look outside to see who’s getting on. Part of me hopes he will and another part hopes he never does.
However, I know that really it’s bound to happen. Date someone and then break up while living in the same area? You’ll probably experience the uncomfortable run-in, even if you do your very best to avoid it. A weirdo guy I dated a couple of times saw me from the streetcar once and then added me on Facebook – because of course, since we’d been within 20 feet of each other again, it must have meant that we should be online buddies even though all other forms of communication had halted two years prior. Obviously.
Every now and then I run into my friend (that I slept with once) that works down the street from me, either at the gym or on my way back. I always end up looking like ass at that very moment, but there it is. You can’t avoid the run-in, folks!
The lesson of the day here is that no matter how many changes you make to your routine, when you least expect it that one night stand, or ex-lover, or ex-lovers wife will one day be standing in front of you. You’ll have to choose to bury your face in your book or look ‘em in the eye and say hey.
Good luck to you!