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Virginity, Prostitution & The Long Arm Of The Law

Love

An online virginity auction leads to tax problem & going to jail for buying your son a hooker.

For some reason, there has been a ton of virginity talk in the news lately. First, there was that girl (Natalie Dylan) who auctioned her honor to a Nevada brothel to pay for her education. (Why is it that we don't believe strippers when they say the same thing?) Then an Italian model (Rafella Fico) tried pulling the same stunt. Then NBA star Marko Jaric eloped with model Adriana Lima ostensibly to stop getting boxed out and score (like when that nice Nick Lachey decided to purchased the cow marry Jessica Simpson).

Well, the hits keep coming (or pretending to). According to AOL News (which is worth way more than 5% of Google News, in their hearts), a Romanian-born 18-year old decided to trade in her V-Card the old-fashioned way: online auction. Alina Percea's maidenhood was purchased by an Italian for roughly $14,000. Unfortunately, the crime was; A) less than perfect; and B) not a crime at all as the oldest profession is legal in Germany (the woman's current home) but highly taxed.

She may lose half of the $14k to the revenuers. On the other hand, most of us lost our virginity for free and not to some exotic Italian businessman who may or may not look exactly like Silvio Berlusconi. Also, if I know anything about Romania (other than its capital is Bucharest) it's this that they have a lot of Traveling People (some people call them gypsies). Traveling People really appreciate caravans (also known as trailers). You can buy a really nice trailer for $7,000 in Germany or roughly a year's rent in Berlin (depending on your neighborhood). How's that for Mr. Brightside? 

Mainland Europe isn't the only place concerned with legal concerns regarding defloration. Per Reuters, a Polish man faced up to 11 months in a UK jail for endangering his 14-year old son by attempting to solicit a prostitute for the boy's first foray into coitus. Un-to the-fortunately, the lady of the night that the pair selected was undercover five-oh (a female policewoman called Sarah) and dad got thrown the slammer for his troubles. The giveaway (in my opinion) was that they were able to negotiate the tart down to £20 (roughly $30). Any time that you get too good of a price on Craigslist you have to assume that the seller plans on drugging you, leaving you in a bathtub of ice and removing your spleen. Then again, maybe Krakow hookers are inexpensive (evidently, we don't say "cheap" about people any more unless it's in reference to a toupee) and skilled and the rest of Europe has more to fear from being undercut by Polish prostitutes than they do Polish plumbers. 

Long story short, the dad got off (heh) with a lecture and a slap on the wrist. In all honesty, you'd imagine that some men wished their dads loved them enough to pick up a bit of pay-for-play for them. "The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon…” Anyone else expecting a 15th birthday party in Bangkok sometime soon?

Who knew getting laid for the first time was such a big deal? The takeaway is: know the laws regulating the flesh trade in your segment of Europe and be careful negotiating too much of a discount. It's like a Euro version of American Pie out there.

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