With male writers like Charlie Brooker it's a small wonder we all aren't lesbians.
If Brooker (who is biologically a man) has some sort of amazing insight into the male brain (he apparently has a penis, so...) then, ladies, it's time for us to punch our relationship time cards and call it a day.
For whatever reason, Brooker decided to write an essay about how he thinks women should take over for the next decade. "A 10-year prohibition on all forms of male power," he writes. Lock men up in a room "with some legos" and have the fairer sex fix all the bobble-headed mistakes these brutish lads have made. Men are nothing more than a false "swagger" he says who have "bollocksed the planet up." Bollocksed!
And if you think Barack Obama—the left-leaner's savior—is exempt from this, you're dead wrong. You see, Obama made the grave mistake of being born a man. So therefore he's doomed and just as bollocks-y as one of the guys from Oasis. Chris Brown Claims He Is Not A Monster
Oh, you. Pretty, silly you. We've got you brainwashed. See, that's what our incessant, ruinous swaggering was all about: pretending to be more complex and dangerous than we actually are. In truth your suspicions are correct: we're very, very simple. We're lazy and we like blowjobs. That's all there is to us. Literally: that's it. From Sir John Betjeman to Barack Obama, from Copernicus to Liam Gallagher. The core software we run on could fit in the memory of a digital watch circa 1985 without even scraping the sides.
While at first glance we sort of like this, (docking men for being simple never, ever, really gets old,) upnn a deeper analysis, it seems Brooker doesn't really know much about women. After all, in his head what would the world be like if ladies were in charge?
Sure, nations would routinely bitch about each other in secret (and with a new, hair-curling viciousness), but there'd be fewer intercontinental punch-ups and a far smaller bodycount.
To which we say: what exactly is it about Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice that conjures catty, sewing circle hair-curling viciousness? And as far as ladies being more peaceful? Well, it's clear this man has never witnessed the awe-inspiring powers of a wicked PMS.
That much is certain.