A Dishonorable Discharge

A Dishonorable Discharge

After reading my last blog entry, it became abundantly clear to me what I had to do with the Sergeant. He called me Saturday night at 10pm (the time stated simply because it alludes to what he was probably calling for anyways), and I was nice. He wanted to know if I wanted to see a movie - at 10pm, I was already resigned to my fate with a Kevin Smith movie marathon and a frozen pizza, so I declined, but asked him if he wanted to get together on Sunday for that movie. He said okay and then we floated on to other topics, floating back to our situation, which he called our "on-again, off-again fling." Yeah... then he went ahead and told me that "Don't get me wrong! The physical stuff...the sex, to put it bluntly... is great! But..." yeah - part of me cringed in terror at what was going to come out of his mouth next, and a billion possibilities flowed freely through my head, "I just don't want to rush anything or rush into saying I love yous and stuff." And then he got a piece of my mind - I called his bluff on the school BS from the other night, reminding him that he initiated contact, he asked me out, he initiated the physical stuff, and every time I tried to return the favor, he pulled back. He said he's really interested in me, and I told him I'm more than willing to follow his pace - he can actually get to know me by DATING me, as in going out to dinner, mini-golfing, a movie, etc., and make an educated decision from there, like normal people. I did warn him - I told him, in all seriousness, "I'm interested in you too, but if you disappear on me one more time, I'm walking away and nothing in the world will get me back. I can only put my heart and my pride on the line for someone so many times." And the subject changed to a lighthearted topic until he told me his boss was calling him so he had to let me go. I told him to give me a call Sunday and let me know about the movie, and he said he would.

So, Sunday comes, and I'm just hanging out with my roomie, watching a few movies he picked up, and we did our standard Sunday grocery shopping, and then later Daddy-O texted me and asked what I was up to. He had just dropped Son-O (I know, I'm so creative with codenames, ha) off with his mom and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out for a bit. Figuring I had given the Sergeant more than enough time to get in touch with me about a movie (and even plenty of time for him to call and say he wasn't available or whatever), I decided to go over to Daddy-O's and hang out with him. He played his guitar for me! He's not a really verbally expressive guy, but he's giving me great lessons in reading nonverbal cues. He played a couple cover songs, and then a couple songs that I didn't recognize - afterwards he told me that he wrote the two I didn't recognize. It was pretty awesome! We capped off the evening with a standard make-out session that, again, didn't go further than hands over clothes, and I had to call it a night because I had to work this morning.

After the great evening with Daddy-O, I woke up this morning and deleted the Sergeant's number. I know exactly where him not calling yesterday is going to lead, and I'm just not going to put my heart on the line and wait to find out what I already know. This week will pass, and then next week we'll be back at school and I'll see him on Wednesdays and Thursdays and be all dolled up like I usually am the first week of classes, and he'll ignore me completely, and then in another couple weeks, he'll be calling again to apologize for being an ass again. I don't have the energy for an on-again, off-again relationship, let alone an on-again, off-again fling with a guy who I finally have the sense to realize is only after one thing.