I broke up with someone just now. We fought over my display image at a very notorious social networking site. I regret not the loss of him, but the fact that I have redone the same mistake all over again. Its a bit less painful this time than earlier. It was my first love then. And I was cautious and preventive from causing me further hurt and so I carefully closed my eyes to all the efforts he had been putting in to keep my relationship alive. And it feels like I am reliving the months all over once again. very strange? Its men from the internet that I fell for. Several times in row now. I never met any for real and don't think I may need to either.
Silence seems the best answer. To someone's call and to wait till things start to turn the way you want them to. And Smile. Minus tear. Don't! Cos he ain't cry either! So, why waste your precious feelings!?!
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I'd never posted as weird a post as this before at any of my blogs. More I am listening to emo songs. I don't know why, after a long many days, I have started to miss Sam again, though I decided I 'd never ever again. Is it 'cause he was my first love which did not turn very well and is it this feeling which is preventing me or rather say threatening my relationships in present and future?
I recall Ab's famous tag 'com'n! Gimme a break!' Yeah, that's what I'd been needing so desperately. Its so gross to be seeking happiness from the person rather than from the relationship, depending and waiting for him to make you happy all the time. That is So impossible, girl! He is no clown of no circus, right?
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And here's one from Sree, 'If he is not happy, he cannot make nobody happy either!' true? I think so. I have become one too!?! No! I just wish it were a bit more real and serious for me to give me my all. Relationships, I mean.
I am hoping I would end up with a good guy. A good marriage will be a bliss and the absence of one will be a second step to my pursuit for intellectual & spiritual endeavors and thence, enlightenment in end. God bless the ones who loved me for pure.