Is there such a thing as intimacy lite?
These days, women are suckers for anything labeled "lite," whether it's cookies, ice cream or bacon-flavored spread. It was only a matter of time before we started taking our intimacy lite too. Intimacy lite is a new way of dating, bridging the gap between casual sex and full blown relationships.
Two of my favorite sex writers, Em and Lo, recently posted a piece about intimacy lite. As they say, "If you’ve ever spooned your booty call or held hands with your one-night stand, you’re familiar with intimacy lite… commitment-phobes (i.e. 99.9% of male college students) are especially prone to indulging in intimacy lite, and this often sends a mixed message, because if his mouth is saying one thing and his body is saying another, then you're probably going to listen to whichever message you like best."
I had to read their post a few times for it to fully sink in, and I suggest you do too if you suspect you’re in an intimacy lite situation. My intimacy lite story is probably a pretty typical one and it goes like this: I meet a boy. We have amazing chemistry, brain hormones go wild, love-at-first sight ensues, and is then harshly interrupted by reality.
Boy explains, "I will be moving soon, and I am afraid to get serious because I could easily see myself falling for you and don’t want that to happen." I think about it, and decide that this little obstacle isn’t worth losing him completely, so why not continue to hang out while he's here. Over the next few months, I see boy multiple times a week, he calls me on the phone every day, and we start becoming more and more relationship-y, but all the while he is insisting he doesn’t want anything too serious. His words were saying one thing, his actions the other. Or were they?
Read the rest at College Candy.