Over the past few months, the tabloids have knocked themselves out trying to come up with new and elaborate details about the deteriorating marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of TLC's top-rated reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8.
Stories have included a "confirmation" from 23-year-old schoolteacher/homewrecker Deanna Hummel's brother/roommate that she's brought Jon back to their place for loud sex; allegations from various "sources" that Kate has been carrying on her own affair with bodyguard Steve Neild; and even assessments from body language experts about how Jon's demeanor on camera shows he's a "broken man" (as if we really needed an expert to tell us this). Read: Jon Out Late, Minus Kate
One story we haven't seen, however, is about the rich, valuable lessons we can take away from this whole Jon & Kate debacle. And yes, we know there are many — because if our grandmothers, nursery school teachers, and that weird inspirational office art in the conference room have taught us anything over the years, it's that we can always learn from our mistakes — no matter how disasterous they are.
1. If you really love someone, you don't let cameras film every second of your relationship. Have Nick and Jessica, Carmen and Dave, and the Hogan family taught us nothing? Unless it's a 22-minute episode of the Family Feud or a brief interview segment on the Today Show about America's greatest hubbies, you do not mix marriage with national TV. Ever.
2. The road to divorce is paved with controlling women. Women who treat their husbands like servants and talk to them like children shouldn't be surprised when said husbands begin to stockpile resentments, recoil from the occasional expression of tenderness, and run around with questionable company in suburban Pennsylvania. Read: Can Powerful Women Find Love?
3. Rolling your eyes whenever your wife opens her mouth will not fix the fact that she has no respect for you. It's hard not to make dumb faces when your wife constantly talks to you as though you're stupid. But if Jon and Kate have taught us anything, it's that passive aggressive clowning will not make your spouse suddenly perceive you as intelligent or competent. Read: He Thinks Your Feedback Is Nagging