Someone please cover the eyes, ears and mouths of America's 'tweens, for you are about to be deluged with an evil that should be neither seen, heard or spoke. Per Star Magazine (always terribly reliable), young (and really funny) Zac Efron has been told by "those who know things" that his best shot of transitioning from teen-playing star to regular old superstar is to call it quits with Vanessa Hudgens.

The thud followed by the intense odor of teen hormones was ever High School Musical fan punching their computer screen and then realizing that Zac Efron (and Vanessa Hudgens) could soon be available (so you're sayin' there's a chance). If this breakup does go down as the tabloids predict, it will be like Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift's split mixed with Pompei's eruption and the last episode of M.A.S.H. for youngsters. 6 Celebrity Couples Who Should Reunite

The line of logic on taking Z-Dog from super teen star to super regular people star is to put some distance between himself and his character (we heard it was Troy) from HSM. Part of the splendor (in the minds of teens and creepy, older folks) of the musical series taking place in a high school was that Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens were sort of similar to their on-screen counterparts (inasmuch as they date each other rather than the frequency with which they break into song and choreographed dance numbers).

While we find this report to be highly dubious, it wouldn't surprise us if some Ari Gold out there is telling Zac Efron that he needs to adult-up his image a bit and that's what punching out Tom Sizemore in a sketchy West Hollywood bar is for. Ideally, these guys won't have to choose between fame and happiness but it seems like that's how it goes sometimes. The report ends with the sentiment that Zac Efron is in agony over the whole thing and a series of pictures over at Perez Hilton indicate that he's upset about something or another, maybe someone told him that Chace Crawford was better looking and more talented.

Photos: Splash