I want someone to cook for again, to sit and have coffee with after supper; to have someone to motivate me and help me with things that I can't tackle alone - like fixing my door lock or getting estimates on a new roof. Or managing my fast-dwindling money. And all the things I would not post here, but you get the idea.
I think being alone, especially after having been in a good, loving and solid marriage, is about the hardest thing that can happen, save for cancer. It's hard to plan for the future - no retirement dreams for me, no plans to build or downsize, or travel. It's tough. I am very lucky in all that I have been given, and for what I've accomplished on my own. But is it wrong to say I miss being a wife? I also don't want to be a burden to my daughter, and our family seems so small - just the three of us, plus some extended family, but everyone's busy and we don't get together that much, anymore.
Enough blogging for now. I just saw my back end in a commerical (somebody has to be that person, and it paid well!) and I'm watching this season's "Lost" finale on the DVR, trying unsuccessfully to understand it. No new episodes till 2010? I said I don't watch many regular shows but I am a "Lost" fanatic, I'll admit. Just as my husband and I used to love "Hill Street Blues." Well, new memories await.