I recently read Jeff Mac's very funny book, Manslations (Sourcebooks), which is basically a phrase book for ladies to help us decipher the Language of Lads. It's certainly a time-saver for those of us used to spending hours IM'ing our friends, dissecting last night's date's behavior.
But the fact is, men aren't the only ones who say one thing and mean another . . . some miscommunications transcend gender lines. Here are eight… Read; Which Love Language Do You Speak?
1. I don't want to ruin our friendship. The thought of kissing you fills me with a mix of nausea, terror, revulsion and fear. Please don't try again. No, really.
2. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Straight, gay, man, woman, it doesn't matter: this is universal code for "I am cheating on you." (Though this phrase can be found on page 12 of the Cheater's Handbook, I have yet to figure out how it came to be an acceptable explanation for infidelity, but they all use it so there must be something to it.) Read: Signs He's Just Not That Into You
3. I'm friends with all my exes. I need the ego boost that can only come from surrounding myself with people I've seen naked. You will see this as a positive marker of my maturity at first, but when the only friends I introduce you to are people I used to have sex with, it will quickly start to grate on your nerves.
4. I hate all my exes. The court-mandated anger management course I was forced to take didn't work and I will probably scare the hell out of you at some point.
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