We love men, but we don't adore these things you do.
Men, we love you. You make our hearts swoon, you're the fathers of our children, you're advisers, companions and friends, but there are certain gender-specific things you do that drive women nuts. For example, leaving the toilet seat up? Your mama raised you wrong if you find it hard to flush and lower before leaving the bathroom.
- Scratching yourself in public.
- Whistling at us: This works for getting a dog's attention, not a woman's.
- Making dangerous gentleman's wagers: This includes credit card roulette with our "joint" bank account and eating five pounds of steak to prove a point.
- Refusing to dance when sober, then refusing to leave the dance floor when drunk.
- Wearing any the following: cut-off jean shorts, socks with sandals, sandals with unkempt toenails, or Crocs.
- Shaving, waxing or plucking your unibrow, back or shoulders, and then telling us you didn't: We can see the stubble, dude!
- Describing your bowel movements and/or trying to show us your efforts while they're still in the toilet
- Doing accents that aren't spot-on
- Referring proudly to any accomplishment you make in the virtual world, including the mention of Facebook friend totals
- Thinking birth control isn't your responsibility
- Believing you look good in relaxed-fit jeans
- Thinking it's not a meal if there's no meat involved
- Making bad household decisions, such as shoving sweaty socks under the couch, inviting the guys over to watch basketball without telling us, and cleaning something so poorly we're prompted to say, "Man, this was a piss-poor cleaning."