How To Break Up With A Man: Don't Be Ambiguous

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breakup advice
Break-up advice: five essential tips about the right way to end a relationship with your boyfriend.

Where To Break The News?
Choose a place for the break up where both of you are comfortable and there are no distractions. This may be in your home, but your home can dilute the importance of what you're saying. Your home is a familiar place and the break up loses significance. It can be seen as just another argument at home. So what's new? Instead, take him somewhere quiet you can talk. I would steer clear of restaurants because if it turns into an ugly scene, no one needs to see it. And don't take him to one of his favorite places to do it either, or broadcast it over the public address system during a Yankee's game. That's just cruel.Read: Breakups In Person Keep Dating Civil, Experts Say

Tell Him What Went Wrong
I say this for two reasons. You guys didn't work, but hopefully he can learn from his mistakes and succeed with someone new. And again, it removes the element of ambiguity. You are leaving him because he never does anything for you, he doesn't pull his weight, he's inconsiderate of your feelings, he's unsupportive of your career, he demeans you in public, etc. Whatever the reasons, tell him what they are. This isn't so you can be vindictive, but as I've said before, guys aren't mind readers. He may not even be aware of his behavior. Now this isn't an excuse, but if he isn't aware, he should know. You might even ignite an epiphany. He might surprise you and want to change his ways. 

Of course, if you catalog his shortcomings, be prepared to receive a list of yours. Don't get angry or defensive, just listen. There my be some valid points in what he's telling you.

Be Adult About The Breakup
Don't tell him it's over by introducing him to your new man or having one of your friends or family members tell him. Breakups are bad enough. They don't need an element of revenge.

Also, keep it civil. I know that's easier said than done, but if you take a methodical and reasoned approach to breaking up with him, it's harder for a war of words to break out. It won't enable you to leave with smiles and hugs, but at least your CD collection won't be thrown out. At the end of the day, you may not leave as friends, but you should be able to bump into each other on the street and not unleash a bout of Tourettes.

Wrap It Up
Relationships fail, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. You shouldn't stay with someone if you're miserable. Happiness should be your life's goal and a good relationship factors into that equation.

To purchase Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry click here.

From Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry. Copyright © 2009 by Simon Oaks. Reprinted by permission of Adams Media, an F+W Media, Inc. Co. All rights reserved.

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