The intense friendships girls have when single are difficult to re-create when in a couple.
I'm getting married in a little over two months, and though this is a happy, exciting time in my life, there's a bittersweetness. It started when I moved to New York a year and a half ago to be with my boyfriend. Up until then, our relationship had been long-distance; he was in Manhattan, and I was in Chicago. Through daily phone calls and frequent trips back and forth, we fell in love while still maintaining solo lives in our respective cities. It was a unique experience to be in a fully committed relationship, but continue living the same single-girl life I'd known since my last serious relationship (minus all the unsuccessful dating, of course). When I wasn't in New York or hosting my boyfriend in Chicago, my weekends were filled cultivating other relationships — those with my closest friends. Life was filled with wine-drenched, late-night talks, long bike rides along the lake, picnics in the park, afternoon shopping frenzies, potlucks, brunches, and impromptu sleep-overs — all with my single friends. Now that I'm fully immersed in "coupled life," I realize I'll probably never have friendships like those again. Read: Are You The “Single Friend”?
It's not that I haven't tried to cultivate new friendships here — I have, and I think I've been pretty successful. There's the group of girls I get together with for brunch every other week or so, and the handful of old college friends I stay connected to with the occasional dinner party or happy hour meet-up. My boyfriend's friends have also embraced me and I've managed to form individual relationships with some of them, friendships that have become quite meaningful to me. But the days of "romancing" my friends — of luxuriating in their company all weekend long and most weekday evenings is over. Given the choice — which, thankfully, I have now that my relationship is not a long-distance one — I'd rather spend most of my free time with my fiance. Watch: How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship (LDR)
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